It is time to say NO

I have reached another turning point in my life. It seems that they seem to come faster and faster as I get older. Of course, this could just be perception because time keeps moving faster and faster in my mind and spirit.

And like all turning points, I don’t have a clue where I am going. When I was younger and wore a suit, I used to make up goals to make those in positions of authority happy. It is sort of the accepted way of doing business. However, it is not the accepted way for doing life.

My goals are always fuzzy and seem to flow with spirit rather than having plan a, plan b, and plan c. It seems in my life that sometimes plan c just comes into play before a or b and there I am saying what the heck happened.

What happened is that I live my life according to instinct and feeling. Logic is just something that I use to explain my decisions to others who for some reason have to be able to quantify life rather than qualify life. However, that is alright with me.

As I write I realize that the turning point now for me is honesty with myself. I don’t have any plans for the future and sometimes I don’t even have any for the day. My major drive is to not be stressed and to, as much as possible, to be happy and if not happy at the minimum content. Goals do not make one content. Goals don’t make one happy. Living life fully and to the extent that it is comfortable and with the least amount of stress seems to me to be an over all meta-goal that folks have forgotten.

I don’t know if I am retired because I don’t like that word. It is like one is retiring from life. Life cannot be retired from unless one chooses to die and I don’t have plans for that since it will happen some time and right now I would just like to enjoy living.

I have realized that when I am resisting doing something my inner guides are telling me to avoid something because it does not fit my fuzzy goals of enjoying life. Which brings us to the idea that maybe procrastination is just a way of saying: No! What a cool idea. It is alright to say well someday if I feel like doing such and such I will do it. However, if I don’t feel like doing it then I don’t have to.

It is time to say no.