Sunday: Solitude

"I lived in solitude in the country and noticed how the monotony of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind" Einstein

There is a magic in being comfortable in solitude. Many people are so uncomfortable dealing with the thoughts and issues that flow through their mind, that they seek out others as distractions so that life is never fully felt or understood.. Even those who are alone often find it difficult to just sit and meditate but must constantly be doing something to avoid the quiet and peace of being with self.

One of the most fascinating signs of being unable to deal with stillness is to watch how you or others react to red lights when one must pause and wait for their turn to move on. Impatient to keep moving and acting, the stop light becomes an irritant and stress maker. If the person in front is a millisecond slow in responding when the light turns green, anger ensues and one pounds on the car horn.

Another sign is those who must constantly be in movement even when not engaging with others. Constantly straightening up the house. Moving the furniture around to vacuum. Redecorating and changing one’s stuff. Reorganizing closets. Watching TV and eating at the same time. Reading a book with the radio on full blast or with teens doing one’s homework with the TV or CD blaring.

One of the greatest gifts that one can receive is a friend that doesn’t need to talk all the time. We often cannot stand the silence of just being with another person much less the silence of being with self. People often speak of awkward moments of silence indicating not knowing what to say or how to respond. How much easier it would be if we could just be comfortable by not having to respond at all. In fact, often we find ourselves not listening to what another says but instead thinking about what we are going to say next.

One of the other great gifts is the ability to sit in solitude and silence without thinking. That perhaps is the greatest test of mental discipline. Constant thoughts running through the mind often with no rhyme or reason. Unfocused we seek to live loud and confused either by our speech or our thought.

This is not to say that one must seek a constant state of mindlessness but that one needs to take time to pause, to reflect, to introspect and finally to just be. Like the seasons of the year, we need to prepare the soil of our minds like the spring and plant our seeds. In the summer of our minds we need to weed out those thoughts (and people) that interfere with the growth of the positive and powerful. In the fall, we need to harvest our ideas and thoughts and share our blessed abundance. And peacefully and wonderfully in the winter, we allow our minds and our spirits to be still and silent.

Often people will speak of solitude and stillness as being depressed and lonely. But solitude is a gift that we give ourselves to renew and regenerate and recreate our souls and spirit. Solitude is a discipline. When one learns to not be lonely when alone, then one will never be lonely with another or a million others.