Saturday Sadness Songs

You cannot prevent the birds of sadness from passing over your head, but you can prevent their making a nest in your hair.

It is impossible not to be sad at times. There are just fleeting moments of memories and fears that come up. If we fight them they become stronger. If we just allow them to be and observe soon we discover what these feelings are trying to tell us. Today is Saturday and I am sad. I observe my thoughts which seem to be random and unable to be plucked up and analyzed. They make so sense in the greater scheme of things.


However, we do not always live life in the vision of the greater scheme of things. Often we just live and be. We learn to be comfortable with our emotional state regardless of its draining of our psyche. Sadness truly drains the psyche. It can bring us to a point where we have a little mini-crisis of faith. Yet, I know as much as I really prefer joy this is my reality for the moment.


Feelings of sadness for me are not intense. They are like the blues that drift on the breeze in New Orleans. I can hear a tenor sax whispering the moans of those who have felt this before and I know that I will feel it again.


As I give into my sadness I realize it is not my enemy. It is feeling. It is perhaps a cosmic empathy with the weather or the turning of times as we begin a new journey. I find that I might have opened up to the energies of another and my sadness has nothing to do with me or where I am but a subtle connection with the energies of another. Yet, I don't want to turn away. I want to understand.


I want to find a dark, smoke filled bar and listen to a piano player as the chords of the blues raise up and fill the souls of those who come to be alone in a crowd. Yes I want to be alone and feel the sadness. It is almost like a self-indulgence that has no meaning to anyone but me. It is also a melody that others experience and it is like it goes round robin from person to person across the globe until it stops at someone who really has a reason to be sad. A person who has a reason to sob. I have no sobs or wails. I am just in a funk.


I prefer being funky to being in a funk. Funk is fun. A funk is the antithesis of fun. I work to lift my spirits yet they want to swing down low like a sweet chariot coming for to take me home to a quieter time in my life.


Maybe I am not sad. Maybe I am in withdrawal from the manic wonder of the past week. Maybe I just want to be amused and to feel the fun of being funk again.


My profundity is less profound. My thoughts are less deep. My wit is less sharp. I am just on a slide into the well of semi-intensity. I think that it really has to do with having an overload this past week with many issues to deal with as far as my career and my life. What I interpret as sadness is just that I am tired.


Wouldn't it be cool if sadness were just my mind interpreting being mentally tired?


I can handle that.


However, I would still like to be in that little piano bar in New Orleans listening to the blues alone in a crowd.