Sunday Smiles

When your smiling, the whole world smiles at you.

I was noticing something lately and that is the shortness of many email responses can sometimes be misunderstood. Learning to not take offense was difficult for me. That is why I am glad that we have smileys to make our written words a little softer.


It seems that it is not just email; it is our society in many ways. People are so stressed and so rushed with so many responsibilities in a world that is more demanding than ever that we often don't even attend to other people even for a simple exchange like ordering a sandwich at McDonald's.


Sometimes it seems that good manners are just a memory of a kinder and gentler past. I am not sure what has happened to make being rude a positive trait to teach our children. I am not talking about squelching creativity and self-expression. I am talking about the excuses that are made for not teaching children how to be kind to other people.


It is especially prevalent in many New Age families where the excuse given is that the child is an Indigo. People take pride in having an indigo being born into their family. This is a good thing if one takes this responsibility along with the pride. The primary description of an Indigo is a person who has difficulty with authority and are non-conformist. In the desire to not hurt the child, parents who perceive their children as Indigos will tolerate obnoxious behaviors. In doing so, these parents are causing almost irreparable damage to their children. Even if these children are the change makers of our society, they will not be able to achieve their goals without the proper skills to work within the system. People who do not learn how to make change from within will eventually fail. I think a lot of the potential of these creative and unique individuals are being destroyed because they are going to be stuck in a phase of their development where they are the center of the universe with little or no respect for the feelings and needs of others.

Even parents in the mainstream are making errors of not teaching their children the necessity of creating personal boundaries and demonstrating respect for others. Most parents are so stressed by the issues of day-to-day living that they are almost to tired to be parents. There is a reliance on the school system to teach behaviors that will enable one to survive and thrive as adults. Yet, the real teaching happens long before school begins. A child learns by observation of the expectations and behaviors of the family unit whether it is a single-parent family, an extended family, the disappearing traditional family and an alternative family. When parents are rude to children, children learn to be rude. When children are rude to others and not corrected and shown what is expected, children learn to be rude. When we don't listen to children, they learn not to listen to others. When we only spend money on children and not time with children, they learn that their value is through things and not through actions.

It seems so simple yet in a complicated world, the simple is becoming too difficult. Thank you becomes to difficult to say when one is rushed. Listening to another becomes difficult when worries about life keeps taking up thinking space. Kindness is difficult when one is constantly faced by rudeness in the business place.

I made an observation the other day at Lowes. When we used to go to Lowes, my husband and I would comment that people seemed to be clueless and not know anything about the store. In fact, some of them were just downright rude. What did I observe, things and people had changed. I don't know if the hiring process was changed or the training process had changed. People who worked for the store smiled when they saw us. If two employees were having a conversation with each other, they would stop and ask if they could help us. Every employee that we met was nice. It took me a couple of visits before it dawned on me that Lowes climate of customer service had changed. I looked at my husband and asked him: Did you notice the employees are acting differently. He looked at me with a look of surprise, smiled, and said yes. I felt good about going shopping there.

Life cannot be a happy experience, if the other humans we deal with are not able to be kind, considerate, and accommodating. This does not mean that we cannot be assertive but we can learn to not be mean, angry, or aggressive in a negative manner. It is in our self-interest in creating a world of expanding possibilities to begin to be kind to other people realizing that each behavior that we express is reflected back to us by others.

I think we need to take some of the smileys that we put in our emails and give them to the people we meet everyday. I am going to practice this week giving out free smileys to everyone I see who doesn't have one on his or her face. We could start a revolution with that idea. Give a smile away this week to everyone you meet.