Mondays and Rainy Days
Monday awoke me slowly. It was like I had awakened into a new dimension of time and space that was moving like honey on a cold winter morning. It was not particularly uncomfortable. It is felt different than what I usually experience.
Now I have never been the type of person that would get up in the morning with a burst of energy and go about my day non-stop. I am always slow to engage the day but usually within an half hour or so, I am starting to be able to think with clarity. But I have no clarity today. It is like my mind is covered by the fog that is outside my window covering my crouching tiger mountain with a mist.
It is not even one of those hazy, lazy days of summer because summer will not be here until tomorrow. Of course, we know that the seasons do not have strict demarcations except for bean counters and those who celebrate the earth religions or make calendars. But, it is not summer yet in my little corner of the world. In fact, it doesn't seem like any season. It feels more like the earth is holding her breath before she exhales the tangy energy of fun in the summer sun.
I am wandering like a blind person through my mind trying to reach out and feel what I cannot see.
I feel a little creature in my mind that is taunting me. Why aren't you doing something? Why are you not creative? If you don't feel creative, why are you not editing your old work? If you don't feel like editing, why don't you go do the dishes? I hate that nudging creature that wants to push me into action when there is no action to be felt or found in my mind. I am almost angry at my reaction to the day and to that stupid voice in my head.
And then another little creature pops up and is trying to comfort me and bring me back to the truth of the day. It is OK to do nothing. It is OK to listen to music and feel the quiet moments of inner solituded. It is certainly OK to just kick back and relax.
Then the nudge comes back getting louder and louder. It is Monday and not Sunday. You are supposed to be working the day away. Sometimes it just ain't fair when rainy days and Mondays come at the same time. The rain seems to waken those creatures in my head who are conflicted and out of tune.
The heck with this inner noise, I am going to drown it out with some good jazz and a cup of tea.
Now I have never been the type of person that would get up in the morning with a burst of energy and go about my day non-stop. I am always slow to engage the day but usually within an half hour or so, I am starting to be able to think with clarity. But I have no clarity today. It is like my mind is covered by the fog that is outside my window covering my crouching tiger mountain with a mist.
It is not even one of those hazy, lazy days of summer because summer will not be here until tomorrow. Of course, we know that the seasons do not have strict demarcations except for bean counters and those who celebrate the earth religions or make calendars. But, it is not summer yet in my little corner of the world. In fact, it doesn't seem like any season. It feels more like the earth is holding her breath before she exhales the tangy energy of fun in the summer sun.
I am wandering like a blind person through my mind trying to reach out and feel what I cannot see.
I feel a little creature in my mind that is taunting me. Why aren't you doing something? Why are you not creative? If you don't feel creative, why are you not editing your old work? If you don't feel like editing, why don't you go do the dishes? I hate that nudging creature that wants to push me into action when there is no action to be felt or found in my mind. I am almost angry at my reaction to the day and to that stupid voice in my head.
And then another little creature pops up and is trying to comfort me and bring me back to the truth of the day. It is OK to do nothing. It is OK to listen to music and feel the quiet moments of inner solituded. It is certainly OK to just kick back and relax.
Then the nudge comes back getting louder and louder. It is Monday and not Sunday. You are supposed to be working the day away. Sometimes it just ain't fair when rainy days and Mondays come at the same time. The rain seems to waken those creatures in my head who are conflicted and out of tune.
The heck with this inner noise, I am going to drown it out with some good jazz and a cup of tea.
posted by Myriam Maytorena | 8:37 AM
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