Saturday: What makes a relationship last?

What makes a relationship last?

As I did my morning muse today, the focus was on Ava Gardner an American actress born on Christmas Eve way back in 1922. Ava along with many Americans was married more than a couple of times. She said something to the effect that she loved well but not wisely. This struck a cord in my heart as you see I have also been married three times. Whether one chooses to marry or just live with someone the issue of what ends a relationship and what keeps two people together is a deep and difficult question.

Jokingly I will say the key to a lasting marriage is to never be crazy at the same time.

However, I think there is some truth to this statement. We all have times in our life when we literally through stress or other issues go a little crazy. When we are like this, we are at a low point in life and it is then that a loving companion is needed to support us as we go through these times. Unfortunately if we are with a companion who cannot support us when we are going through bad times or if we are with a companion that is actually a crazy maker, we need to move on.

This time of year is one of the most stressful of all holidays. The commercialism of the holidays, not just Christmas but others as well, put the focus on a very sad point: If you love me you will buy me stuff. It is a travesty that the season of love is held hostage by Walmart. It really is a mute point whether one is a Christian or a heathen or an atheist.

On Christmas day there will be an increase in suicides. On Christmas day there will be an increase in family violence. On Christmas day instead of joy there will be sadness because expectations and reality do not walk in lock step. There will be arguments and bickering. Oh sure tables will be laden and so will credit cards and people will put on happy clown faces but in our hearts many will experience great sadness. Some will be lucky and just take this time as a great time to just be with loved ones. Others, however, will be alone and this takes a special kind of person who has not bought into the message of the holidays.

The longest relationship one will ever have is with self. When one learns to truly love self, then relationships with others are just add-ons to the quality of life. When we focus on what self doesn’t have then depression and sadness comes to us. If instead we take the focus off of self knowing that self will always be our companion in our journey through life and instead place focus on sharing this love of self with others, there is going to be a healing. How does a relationship last with an ample dose of self-love. When we come to completely love and accept self, our other relationships are going to become stronger and healthier. When we come to completely love and forgive self, our relationships are going to become kinder and more forgiving. When we accept that we are spiritual beings having a human experience, we are going to understand and acknowledge the other spiritual beings being human.

How do we make a relationship last. We love. We love self. When we love self than we can more fully love and accept others.