Luck

It is another morning and I stumble out of bed and nuke some water in order to make some instant coffee. Cat in. Cat out. Dog in. Dog out. The constant routine continues every day. My breakfast table is a table next to my chair where I gaze out at the trees blowing in the wind. Brain dead I wait for the coffee to kick in. I am bashing my internal muse as it is completely uncooperative and I have a deadline and I haven’t met it and it is today.

Seems lately this little drama has been being replayed over and over again in my little corner of the world. I need to write an essay on luck. All I can think of is: If it were not for bad luck, I would have no luck at all. Now that is inspiring. Just what people want to hear from Mother Myriam. I am supposed to be an inspirational writer and I am as inspired as a Polar Bear floating on a chunk of ice with the sun beating down in need of a towel, a bucket and a bicycle. A Polar Bear needs a bicycle as much as I need to calm down. Maybe I need a vacation?

No I need to get my inner drama over my morning coffee under control and get to work.

I just need some lucky inspiration to get myself going.

I begin to muse... what is luck?

I free associate trying to get some inspiration.

Luck is being aware of possibilities and acting on them.

Luck is an intuitive flash that somehow makes one turn down a different street and avoid an accident.

Luck is meeting one’s soul mate at the grocery.

Luck is if I finish my column today.

A friend once said that coincidences are God’s little miracles.

I need a little miracle today.

I really need some luck in getting this essay done.

The Journey to Health

While many people deal with health issues all the time and the impact is both physical, mental and spiritual. Sometimes the standard method of healing from our western culture does not provide the answers that we seek.

I have been involved with alternative healing methods for all of my life. It began with my birth into a family where my father was a minister and performed laying-upon-hands healing. Miracles have followed me all my life. The events that I have experienced sometimes defy explanation but what I have just experienced over the last 3 months has been a very interesting and difficult journey.

It started when a person (another psychic) that works for the same company that I work for asked me to help her with her website. It became on the most difficult experiences of my life and I mean that literally and all my life has not been easy I can assure you. I began to have anxiety attacks when I would come to the office. My hands would shake so bad that I could not even type. The stress started mounting to an unbelievable level. I could not understand why I was letting this person upset me. Finally a friend who is a geek offered to help her and get me away from her. God bless him because I think that at the rate that I was going I might have became suicidal.

In the following weeks I began to slip from anxiety to anxiety combined with clinical depression. I would just sit and stare and I would wake up with my teeth hurting and my jaw because I was clinching my jaw so tight at night. My hands trembled more and more. I finally remembered that I had a prescription for an anti-depressant and some anxiety medication. I started out with a low dose but it wasn’t helping so I went to the doctor. He increased my dosage but the only thing that seemed to improve is that I quite ruminating about death. For weeks all I could think about was death. It was really a horror to experience.

Last Monday a friend of mine contacted me who is a shaman. Her name is Mountain Hawk Lady and she asked me to call her. I did and as we explored what was going on she realized that I had been attacked by a psychic vampire. Energy cords were connected to three chakras which she was able to cut and she did some other cleansing rituals. The next day I woke up and my teeth were not hurting and my stomach was not hurting. This was the first time since December that I was not throwing up, having to take a pain pill or just generally physically ill. Many people do not know that clinical depression is accompanied by physical symptoms as well. The next day I was shaking even less and I was able to go out and actually start to write again. By Wednesday I was back doing my morning muse that I send out every day and Monday I will be able to go back to work and start earning money again. My fears and anxiety has been rapidly decreasing and I am planning on going to get my hair cut. The last time I was out of the house was several weeks ago which was the first time in several months and I had an anxiety attack in the middle of the grocery and almost passed out.

Now this may seem far fetched to many people, but for me it was a miracle. And I consider that I am very blessed to have this woman in my life as a friend and shaman.

If you would like to learn more about psychic vampires the following is a link to the article on the online magazine I write and edit.

http://www.asknow.com/newsletter0106-vampire.aspx

Universal Love

There is an energy in the universal heart that connects us all – male and female, young and old. The heart is more than an organ pumping blood, it is an essence that truly expresses the seed of divine love. When we are born we remember our oneness in love but it is only our experiences of differentiating self from the divine love that makes us feel separate and alone.

Coming back to feeling that divine universal love, allows that inner child that remembers to awaken and remember again how we truly are never alone but always a part of that continuing experience of peace. The realities of many yesterdays may put a cloud over our vision but that cloud can be removed by just looking at the face of a new born child – so wise and still aware of that one being that is our heritage.

As I watch life and others and self as we choose a life of suffering, I again remembered we are spirits having a human experience. And I pray that the lessons will help us all evolve even though I may not understand the why or the how, I know that eventually we will all return to the bliss of being one in awareness of universal love.

Monday: Waiting is

The Date

I am not sure what the date is but I know it is fast approaching. I wait in anticipation which is a shift in energies for me. I feel that time coming. That time when I will be ready to smile and be increasingly amused by life again.

I wanted it to happen sooner but life is not always what we want it to be. It is sometimes just a time of waiting. There is a saying in the Tao Te Ching: When the water is muddy one must be still to allow it to clear.

I have worked very hard over my life to learn the art of patience. In fact, in training myself I used to drive and refuse to pass cars that were going to slow just to teach myself patience. I would repeat the mantra: Waiting is.

Now I was never quite sure as to what followed the is, but I guess about anything.

Waiting is short?

Waiting is long?

Waiting is just what it is.

Sometimes there are things in life that seem beyond our control. And they probably are based upon the circumstances and our resources. So we resolve ourselves to waiting until the tides of life change and we move on in another direction or at least move on.

Today I am with the Tao and I am waiting. But maybe tomorrow I will be able to write again. That would be a very good thing.