Wednesday: Memories

Funny about tragedies in life, they send us spinning through times past. Our mind recalls moments of joy and sadness. Chaos brings out the painter of the kaleidoscope that we call memories.

For some reason this morning I was remembering an old family friend, Henny Youngman. Not many people will remember Henny. He was a stand-up comedian and known as the King of the One Liners. He never made it to be the top dog because people like Bob Hope, Jack Benny and Milton Berle kept getting the main billing. However, for a little ugly Jewish boy Henny did really well.

I wrote in my morning muse this day, how Henny was responsible for my marriage to my second husband Lee Jacobs. Lee died in January three years ago from brain cancer. A brilliant man, he was the epitome of comedy and tragedy rolled into one package. Lee studied English at Ohio University. He had completed all his course work to receive his PH. D. And had written his dissertation on Chaucer and the Wife of Bath. In disgust with academia, Lee refused to turn in his dissertation and walked away from academia to create his own publishing house created to preserve the history of magic. Lee was my personal tutor in English and, in fact, he did such a good job that when I returned to college at the age of 33, I tested out of all English courses and never took one class. Yet today, I am what Lee wanted to be but could never achieve. I am a professional published author. I would not have become the writer that I am today without the help of Lee Jacobs.

My friend Patrick said to me yesterday: Your life is never boring. And this is the ultimate truth. In sixty-one years I cannot remember a boring time. Dramatic. Chaotic. Fun. Shocking. Creative. Maybe, even diabolical but never boring. There is an old blessing or is it a curse: May you live in interesting times. I have. I do. And, I will continue.

May you live in interesting times creating memories that will carry you into the future where when the time comes that you are sitting at the final stages of life, you will have the most interesting of memories.

Tuesday: The Aftermath

Since Katrina hit New Orleans, my anxiety level has built.

I feel afraid and yet know that does no good. I can see that my son is truly in trouble and I can do nothing.

I wish that I could lift this anxiety and just be in a state of detachment. Some moments I can do that. Others, I cannot.

The question stays in my mind: Is he alive? And I know how all the mothers whose sons and daughters go to war suffer a lifetime each day with not knowing if their children are alive or dead.

It is a sad time.

Friday: Living by the Rules

I hate rules. I hate regulations. I hate “have to’s” and “shoulds”. I hate anything that tells me that anyone other than me can define who I am and what I will achieve.


Normally I write about love but if we do not hate what holds us back than we are in essence in love with our own enslavement. If we would become all that we desire, we must first hunt out and destroy the enemy. The enemy to self-expression and freedom can be sneaky.


It hides in our memories of the way our parents and society indoctrinated us as to what is proper behavior. It hides in the way we talk to ourselves about how we are less than another or less than we could be … our enemy is anything, any thought or any person that would make us less than what we desire to be.


Be vigilant. Be a warrior. Destroy that which would destroy your possibilities in this reality. Don’t let others choose your path. Don’t let fear keep you from fighting the fight to destroy every idea and thought that will keep you from your dreams.


What ever you do, don’t let anyone should all over you. Remember shit and should both start with sh.

Thursday: Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid

Laughter kills fear, and without fear there can be no faith. For without fear of the devil there is no need for God.

Sean Connery

Fear has been my adversary for most of life. I don't think I am different than most people in that it is a constant companion. Fear is what helps us as a species - well, all species - survive. Fear, like all emotions, is based upon a real need. It is when fear gets out of our control and starts to control us is when it becomes an issue.


I think it was Winston Churchill who said - We have nothing to fear, but fear itself. This is the ultimate enemy of expanding one's potential and one's possibilities in life. When fear freezes our exploration into ways of creating a more interesting and joyful life, we might as well be dead.


I started out when I was about 20 something with a goal to face everything that I feared that was keeping me from becoming a free and happy person. Sometimes I would get myself in some very strange situations just because I wanted to prove that I was an adventuresome soul. As I aged, I really started to address this in a more logical manner. When I feared something I wanted to look and see was I realistic in my fear or was it a creation of my mind. And I developed a way of chatting with myself when faced with a new experience that might potentially create a threat to me. I now ask myself this question when faced with a new adventure, project, or issue: What is the worse that can happen? and then I ask: What is the best that can happen? I am now able to make more rationale choices not based upon an unfounded reaction that I call fear, but based upon a cost benefits ratio. If I potentially have more to gain then I have to lose, I will usually move forward to obtain what I desire.


Usually when I ask these questions, it has to do with my writing career. The worse that can happen is someone won't like it. Well, not everyone is going to like what you write, what you create, what you say, and often they just are not going to like you. That is not my problem unless I make it a problem by giving into the fear of not being accepted, liked or appreciated. The best that can happen, is that my writing will move someone and I will have been a help. A second best thing that can happen, is that I will be able to make money doing what I must do and that is write.


To me what I value most is the freedom to be me. I cannot enjoy that freedom if I am walking along my path with fear guiding each step.


Fear also comes when what one values is threatened. The primitive spirit in me does not want to take flight but to fight. In those moments I have a rise of adrenalin. I am poised to take action so that I may continue along my path doing what I do which is being me. When I was younger I would take these signals of external control by being ready to fight. When I felt that I could not win, I would still be angry but I would be frozen by an approach/avoidance conflict. Now, I take it more lightly. I have come to realize that those who would control me are only an illusion unless I empower them by giving into fear. It is fear that provokes the fight or flight. When I learned to detach from the emotion of fear of rejection, fear of not being liked, fear of not being loved, I found that more people seemed to accept me, more seemed to like me, more love seemed to flow into my life.


Oh, it is not that some folks reject my ideas and sometimes will push buttons that want to make me evoke the dragon of wrath, I have just learned that I always have a choice to respond in a negative, a positive or a neutral way. Usually now it is neutral because, "Frankly, Scarlet, I don't give a damn."

Wednesday: One Truth Dies - Another is Born

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.

Anais Nin

It takes courage to face TRUTH! Sometimes we like to think that it is better to reconstruct the truth so that it is more acceptable. And that is fine as long as it doesn't dis-empower us. Sometimes reality is like a bitter orange. . . Unpleasant to the taste but ultimately healing.

About 15 years ago I stumbled upon a poem written by my father-in-law, Dr. Manuel Antonio Serna-Maytorena. I always remembered this line: My son is like a bitter orange. Today I found out the truth of his poetry. In doing some research for the free-write group to which I belong I began a search and finally pomelo rose led me to citrus which led me to bitter orange as it is used in Mexico. It is used for medicinal purposes and is considered very healing. And my little epiphany which gave me insight into how Tonio saw the gift of his son. Mark was a healing to Tonio. Isn't that a great gift from the universe to me.

Truth changes as language and meanings of words get changed in translation. All of our history as it grows more and more complex allows us to have more complex vision into our realities. And thus it is through language and linguistic sophistication that we come to realize that Anais Nin was correct when she wrote in her diary: We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are. As I change so does my reality and my truth.

I must say this has been an amazing and insightful morning and journey as I have discovered many "truths" today that I did not expect and as realities collided with each other I was changed. The rippling effect of this change on my perceptions and consciousness will be fascinating to watch.

I received an email yesterday from a woman in response to the new direction of Light Source (http://manifestreality.com/light/asknow.com ) and I quote: It never ceases to amaze me, Myriam, how you constantly keep reinventing yourself.

It is the spark of truth that keeps ingniting the journey to self.

Tuesday: Feng Shui for Love

This ancient Chinese art and science of creating balanced and harmonious environments is now becoming almost a household word, with even Donald Trump talking about the use of Feng Shui for his towers. Feng Shui has been around since the Bronze Age. Its first mention in text is reported to be 220 B.C. Many American intuitives are using these ancient principles to help you bring harmony into your life and a whole new form of the art is being created to help you create more magic in your life.

The purpose of Feng Shui is to restore balance and create harmony. There are times we cannot bring in a Feng Shui practitioner to assist us in this right away. However, if you are looking to create some love in your life, I would like to share with you how to Feng Shui for Love.

Feng Shui (especially intuitive Feng Shui and Black Hat Feng Shui) uses magical treatments to create balance in all areas of life. When you balance the energies in your area of your home that attracts love chi (energy) you will find love begins to flow into your life.

In the right corner of your bedroom or the south corner of your house is the area that rules relationships, love and romance. Some Feng Shui treatments for your home or bedroom to enhance romance:

• In the right hand corner of your bedroom and the south part of your home create a power spot for love. You can use a table or your desk or dresser.
• Place on the power spot a picture. This picture can be of you and your beloved or a picture of a couple that represents love and romance to you.
• Place two red candles to the left of the picture. It would be good if they were a bit higher than the picture. You may also use pink candles which represent the heart chakra.
• Place 2 flowers or 2 plants next to the picture on the right. You may use silk flowers or live flowers but if you use live flowers they must always be kept fresh and lively. Pink or red roses are a wonderful choice.
• Crystals and gemstones attract positive chi (energy). Choose pink quartz to energize the concept of love. You might even find a statue of two lovers crafted of pink quartz. Place this right in front of your candles.
• Now for the magic. Take a beautiful card – you can buy one or create your own – and write the following affirmation: I attract and accept love into my heart and my life. Place this affirmation in the center front of your magical arrangement. Each night for 28 days starting with the new moon light your candles and repeat this affirmation. On the 28th day burn your affirmation and release it to universal spirit.
• Other helps include, playing romantic music when you read your affirmation, visualizing that a pink light goes from your heart and connects with your beloved (or potential beloved) with pure love, and repeating to yourself three times a day your affirmation of love.
  

Remember the most important magic of all - when you feel love and beauty you attract love and beauty.

Monday: Anything Goes

Flappers took us further than Suffragettes.

The marches, the protests, the demands for change were all a part of the fabric of the re-birth of the female of the species but it was the flapper portrayed in all her freedom in movies and other media that created an image for women of renewed possibilities. The women like Dorothy Parker, Anit Loos, and even Betty Boop became as powerful an icon for the modern woman as the Virgin Mary was to Catholics for centuries. Freedom came when a few brave women cut their hair, showed their legs, and created chaos of the mind.

Bless the women who chose to have fun on their own terms!

Anything Goes by Cole Porter where he refers to Dorothy Parker:

Good authors too who once knew better words,

Now only use four letter words

Writing prose, Anything Goes.

The world has gone mad today

And good's bad today,

And black's white today,

And day's night today,

When most guys today

That women prize today

Are just silly gigolos

And though I'm not a great romancer

I know that I'm bound to answer

When you propose,

Anything goes

Sunday: The Sunny Side of the Street

Life can be so sweet on the Sunny Side of the Street!

Sometimes as much as we try to stay in a place of positivity, it becomes impossible because of the actions of others. It is learning not to be drawn into another's drama that helps one keep focus on our own dreams and goals. So often, women, feel that their lives require that others dreams and goals must be put first and that is such a pile of hogwash. After raising one's children responsibility for others is minimalized. If our significant others do not encourage our goals is one thing but when they interfere with our goals then it is time to redefine how we see self engaged in a relationship.

When we change others become frightened.

We can respond to their fear which usually takes the form of anger, resentment and resistant by caving in and giving up our own desires or we can push forward despite the resistance. It takes courage to live an authentic and dynamic life. It is important to remember that we can make the choice to stagnate or we can choose to grow. If others try to hold us down, it is up to us to push for the sun and the joy of healthy growth and creativity.

Be your own manifest dream today.

Saturday: Girls Just Want to Have Fun

This has been an amazing week. I got a call last Saturday and was asked if I could fly to Tampa FL to do a photo shoot on the following Tuesday. What did I say? YES! Just send me a ticket but make it after 10 AM. I don't do much in the mornings except my morning muse and write. Kind of hard to get these old bones moving before 9 except for my fingers on the keyboard and holding my coffee cup.

The Adventure Begins

So I go to the airport and check in only to find my flight has been changed so I walk to another airline counter. We change flights in Charlotte NC which I thought nice, a great airport. Then I find out I am leaving in less than half an hour at a gate about a gazillion miles away. I walk and slightly run and think I am going to fall down on the ground in pain but I make it. On the plane I wait for the service cart 'cause by then I need a bloody mary. I am picked up at the airport by Jeff and I am so jonesing for a cigarette and I say to Jeff: Can we stop by a convenience store I need a lighter. (Those stupid new regulations won't let you take a lighter on an airplane in case we are planning on taking out some extreme terrorists.) Jeff smiles and I liked him immediately, and said: "I smoke." And I light up and enjoy the view of the Tampa Bay as we drive across the bridge to the office.

The Mother Myriam Show

It was a hoot being treated like a celebrity. Everyone is just as nice as can be and Jeff is introducing me as Mother Myriam. That was a first, but I am sure it will not be a last. The Myriam Show had begun.




I met the direct of the shoot, my wardrobe person, the graphic artist who will be incorporating my pictures into the website, and the list goes on and on. Folks from the call center were coming over to meet me.





Janet had had a dream that when I arrived they would not like my wardrobe and would have to go out and buy new stuff. So I was prepared and the director and wardrobe person was going through what I brought with me and was saying well I am not sure this will work. Maybe we could go shopping. And so it went on and on as they took stuff out of my back pack and hung it up. (BTW remind me next time to just check my luggage... things sure get wrinkled and they are heavy.) Eventually they made up their minds as I amused myself talking to all the folks who make this growing enterprise come to life.





Jeff showed me some ads that had already been run and explained that I had tested well and that everyone was really pleased. I guess that is why the spent all this money to bring little old me (and I do mean old) down to Florida to do the star treatment photography session.

Time Out

Jeff took me to the Hilton where I had a great suite. I fixed a drink and sat down to relax. This fancy new TV threw me off a bit. I tried to turn on some music and got charged for 120 minutes of CDs playing for $9.99. I was shocked and confused as to how I had done that. Then Jeff and Christine showed up to take me to dinner which was absolutely amazing. And back to bed early so I would be rested the next day for the session.

OUCH

2 AM I wake up in absolute pain. My left foot is seizing up like an eagle talon. I no longer get it relaxed and my right foot seizes up like an raptor talon. I am aching from the end of my toes to the top of my head. I realized I must have had muscles in my head I hadn't used in awhile. I walk. I massage. I take a hot bath. I find an aspirin. I make coffee so the aspirin will work better which makes me wide awake. And I watch some stupid movie about a Beverly Hills Girl Scout troupe or something with the blond from Cheers (it actually was pretty funny). I set the alarm on my cell phone so maybe if I am lucky enough to fall asleep I won't miss my time with Jeff pick up at 9:40 AM. Did I sleep? NO! I finally wander downstairs at 7 and have some breakfast. At 8 something I call Jeff and say I am bored and I can't sleep; come and get me.





As we drive to the office, Jeff and I are talking business. It seems that my mind when it can't sleep gets invaded by my creative muse. I must say that my sleepless in Clearwater phase payed off as he loved the ideas... but more of that later.

The Photo Shoot

A make-up stylist! A hair-stylist! A wardrobe person! A director! A photographer! A go-fer!

OH MY GODDESS!

All of these people for just some pictures. My mind is going into the zone to be sure. Now for the joke (smiling at Janet) after all their complaining about the wardrobe, we end of up using exactly what I had brought and it worked perfectly. Five costume changes. What seemed like a thousand snaps of the camera and me telling jokes, reading palms, and generally being amused and three hours have passed. Project coordinators and other big wigs are coming in to look at the pictures on a monitor as the process goes on. I like her like this. That looks good. Try this. Try that. Each change of this or that and the make-up and hair people come in to touch me up. By the last hour I am in excrutiating pain but the show must go on so I say I have an idea... let's use that chair over there for a prop. The best pictures of the day came when I curled up on that chair in my black dress and pearls and finished the second phase of the Mother Myriam Show.

Show me the food!

I am starving. I need food and drink. I am in pain.

I check my email only 300 in the last 24 hours so that was light but no time to answer. Only time to send Skye an email about the closing of the show (grin). But, Jeff wants to consult. I end up with a bigger contract to be editor of the monthly magazine, create some new interactive features including a text messaging feature, and get a contract for some more articles and so forth. It was a profitable day. But I am still hungry. Kelly (an Aquarian and true jewel) rescues me and takes me to a Greek restaurant for this great sandwich of feta cheese, sun dried tomatoes, and caviar - yummy!

Rescue ME!

I finally get Skye on my cell phone and she wants to know where I am and how to pick me up. I haven't got a clue so I have to wander through this huge building looking for Kelly to be able to tell Skye where to find me. I call Skye and it appears my rescue is on the way. (BTW don't you love those roaming charges? NOT!) Skye says she will be there in 15 or 20 minutes so I do my farewells and go outside to wait for her.





The cell rings! It is Skye. Now where are you again? What is the number on that building. I wander into the sun and look up and see the address and tell her. 10 minutes later the cell is ringing again. Now where are you? I explain again. Anyway it takes her 12 times driving by the place to find it and I am having a heat stroke. She calls again and I say it is next to the Jewish Center of some sort or another. She shows up I am as grumpy as Mark when he misses lunch. I sound like a total drama queen. I am dying. I am going to have a heart attack. I am having a heat stroke. She hugs me and loads me into her very air conditioned car and she heads to the other side of this tropical hell and I collapse on her sofa.

Ah! Sleep!

I finally recover and return to somewhat of a bit of normal. We had a great dinner and visited and I was so pleased to spend time with such a spiritual loving person. She is the perfect Jewish mother and I needed one for Mother Myriam by the time she rescued me.

The End of the Adventure

I arrive at the airport early so Skye can go to work. I get to sit up on a deck and eat a bagel, smoke a ciggie and spill coffee on my pink dress. I arrive in Charlotte and decide no more crampy feet for me and catch a ride on the shuttle to the other end of the airport. Luckily all flights had been delayed and I board with 2 minutes to spare before take off. The last leg of my homeward journey and I am only twenty minutes late. Mark gets me a burger and some chili and I get home and before I collapse onto my bed, Avis has to do her doggie dance of joy. I am to tired to even share the adventure story till the next day.

The Day After

It is 1 AM the day after and I am awake. I make some coffee, create my morning muse, and then work till 11 AM kicking out the work that was contracted. All and all it was an exciting adventure. Who knew that at the age of 61 and 1/2 I would be on the way to celebrity. Models should be 18 with no bags under their eyes. I have to say the one thing that I learned is that when I am wealthy I am going to have my own personal make-up artist and stylist.

Until tomorrow, keep being amused my the quirks of life.

Monday: Going for the gusto is always an option.

Julia Child did not begin her climb to success until 1965 and she was in her fifties. Grandma Moses didn't become famous and start painting till in her elder years. Creativity is not bound by years nor is it the venue of only the young. Going for the gusto is always an option.



We must not define ourselves by the years that we live but by the life in our years. Every day and every time of our lives presents us for options to explore and redefine how we live and express our lives.




When I was 30 something I thought I was old as I chose to return to college. Now I look back and see how young I truly was. Now 30 years later I am embarking on new journeys and exciting adventures.




Your muse will be gone for a few days... But in the meantime, never say it is too late. If you are wondering if your mission has been completed in life, ask but one question: Are you still alive? Then you are not done.

Sunday: Showers of Blessings

The secret of happiness is to count your blessings while others are adding up their troubles

Anonymous

When I was a little girl there was a song that was sung in my Daddy's church: Showers of Blessings. There was something truly joyful and uplifting about the message of that song as well as the enthusiasm with which it was sung. I think that while many of us are moving from being religious to being spiritual beings, the joy that comes from being together and making a joyful noise of praise and thanksgiving needs to be maintained in our lives. Whether we do it with friends, families, congregations, basketball games or what ever, group enthusiasm for the good in life is very empowering.



A lot of times when I talk with Glenna in the morning we will end us singing little songs. Songs that bring back memories of our childhood. You know one does not have to have a great voice when one shares a song with a friend or beloved, one just has to have a great heart. I am often made to smile over dinner. My husband Mark inherited a trait from his father. When he is enjoying his food, he will start to humm a song. I know he is truly in-joy when the music accompanies his food.



Another great song from my memory bank - remember joy and blessings are not driven by religion but by the heart is Pennies from Heaven sang by Bing Crosby.

A long time ago

A million years BC

The best things in life

Were absolutely free.

But no one appreciated

A sky that was always blue.

And no one congratulated

A moon that was always new.

So it was planned that they would vanish now and them

And you must pay before you get them back again.

That's what storms were made for

And you shouldn't be afraid for

Every time it rains it rains Pennies from heaven.

Don't you know each cloud contains Pennies from heaven.

You'll find yor fortune falling

All over town.

Be sure that your umbrella is upside down.

Trade them for a package of sunshine and flowers.

If you want the things you love

You must have showers.

So when you hear it thunder

Don't run under a tree.

There'll be pennies from heaven for you and me

Saturday: Dark Night of the Soul

Expect to have hope rekindled. Expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways. The dry seasons in life do not last. The spring rains will come again.

Sarah Ban Breathnach

Sometimes it seems that the problems in life continue without end. It can be like we are caught in a hell that cannot be escaped. Some people even seem to be covered by a dark cloud of troubles that seems to go on for years. It could be poverty. It could be illness. It could be circumstances that seem totally beyond our control. However, time shows that for most of us these times do pass.

When we are in a state of suffering due to the realities of the pain of life, it is hard to reach out to others. That is when friends take on the role of angels. Even if you are a stranger, you can still be a spiritual friend to someone in need of love and support. Many times we cannot afford to give money to solve problems of another but we can give love and belief that the person will find an answer. If all that you can do is listen, then this is an awesome gift of love. If the person suffering is unable to communicate - which can happen at the darkest hours of the night of the soul - then prayers to the divine and affirming belief in a miracle will help on a spiritual level to empower the friend to hang in there till times shift and change and the winds of joy return.

If you are in a state of pain and suffering, it is often hard to focus on hope. However, you can focus on distracting your mind from suffering. This could be done through meditation. It could also be done by doing something that gives you pleasure such as communing with nature or helping another person. The best way to get past the current state of suffering is to attend to the needs of another. When you focus on your own pain, you actually increase it and give it power. Take a moment and ask the divine to give you guidance to solve the issues that exist in your life right now. Accept that you will receive the divine support that you need.

Recognize that this is a transient moment in your life even though it may seem to continue longer than you think you can stand. Try to focus on how the bad times in the past did change; do not focus on the bad that happened but on the good that did come to you. A miracle is as close as your acceptance to believe that your higher good will manifest.

Let Go! Let Good come into your life!

Friday: Imagine the possibilities

Any successful journey begins by packing your luggage full of imagination.

~ Kathrine Palmer Peterson

The creative spirit is the gift of the divine to humanity. As we take our thoughts and re-arrange them in new and unique ways we are in essence creating and re-creating our reality. There is a joy that happens when we allow our minds to wander among the possibilities of life.



Creating a joyful life is the result of filling our mind with diverse and exciting ideas and concepts. While ultimately everything can be broken down into small parts, it is the way that we put all those parts together that creates the mosaic of our world. Imagination is our gift to ourselves and to our world.



Imagine the possibilities...

Thursday The Brain is Not Reality TV!

The Brain is Not Reality TV!

Memories come flooding into my reality. I sometimes wonder if what I remember is the truth or just my imagination. It is not easy at times to be clear but it is worth the effort. I guess if the memories feel good, then it doesn't matter. However, when the memories make us feel bad or experience pain, it is time to get clear. There is a strange phenomena of the human brain and memory. When we constantly go over and over something it becomes set stronger and stronger in the brain and more neural pathways are created in order to access a thought or event. Also, as humans we have very colorful imaginations that evoke emotions that might not have been as strong when an event occurs but over time as we think and rethink a situation, the memory takes on a life of its own.


If we have a disagreement with a friend, it can become a breach in the relationship if we allow ourselves to stew and stew over a slight remark that meant most to nothing and turn it into a huge wound that could have been avoided if we had just refused to be caught in the small and to then turn it into the big. Suppose our friend says off handedly something about the way that we do something so small as to be nothing, but because our mom or dad used to nag us about that same thing, it will all of a sudden be caught in the brain and twisted and turned until it is tangled into the brain's memories that connect our anger at our mom or dad nagging on us and the friend receives all that built up drama and then each little small thing the friend says meaning absolutely nothing builds into a break in the bond of friendship. A little thing grows to gigantic proportions and we become more and more aware of everything that friend says that confirms our growing distrust.


Today ignore the small stuff and get on with the big stuff like loving.

Wednesday's Magic

The three ages of man: youth, middle age and 'my word you do look well'.

June Whitfield

Glenna and I have been having some interesting conversations. We have come to a conclusion. Decades are just plain decadent. When you are ten you are going on eleven. When you are 20 you will soon be 21. But it starts to change at 29. Then the time really starts to move. 40 becomes a marker that says well girl you are getting a few wrinkles. 50 is now referred to as our red hat years. 60 just plain sucks as the wrinkles get deeper and the pains come every morning. And so it goes until you get to be in your late 90's. Mom would always say I am almost a hundred. I sincerely asked Glenna if it was wrong for me to feel so vain and worried about getting older and the changing of my looks. She sweetly said that she thought everyone should always look the best that they can. I think that it was about fifty when people started saying to me: You don't look your age. Now, they mostly say you don't act your age. I have yet to figure out how an age looks and I certainly don't know how an age acts. So I guess what you see is what you get.

Until tomorrow, remember what Bob Hope said: Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

Tuesday: Time to Awaken the Sleeping Muse

Whining is not only graceless, but can be dangerous. It can alert a brute that a victim is in the neighborhood.
-- Maya Angelou

There is something that seems healing about sharing one's problems. In fact, some lists on the internet truly love to hear of misery, unhappiness and problems. This does have some merit but it can also become a habit that is hard to break for the listener and the complainer.


I truly believe that 90 percent of the people who walk around in our cyber world are kind and good intentioned on the surface at least. There are 10 percent that are just down right nasty and cruel. Then I guess there are about 20 or 30 percent that think that they are kind but get a real thrill out of hearing about someone suffering. As we interact with others on the net we need to be aware if we are being kind or if we are thrill seeking by watching the suffering of another. And those of use who truly are suffering must be careful that we do not fall victims to those who would have us continue to wallow in our misery so that they can believe in some way or another that they are better than us.

Writers beware. You never know what evil lurks behind that computer just down the cyber-highway.

Friday: A final goodbye

Today I received a copy of the first review of my book Life with Mother; a Journey of Love, Death and Rebirth. You would think I would be doing a happy dance. I am not.
When I received my first copies of the book a week or so ago, you would think that I would have done the happy dance. I did not.
I have been trying to understand why I am not ecstatic about all of this. A new book published and a positive review should make me feel very good. I am not even able to generate enthusiasm when I talk with my dear friend and agent. I keep trying to kick myself into gear and begin the marketing process of being a writer but I keep falling into a funk.
It was not until I sat down this morning to write that I realized what my issue is with the book and my reaction to what should be a happy event. The publication of this book represents a final chapter of my life with Mother.
You see Mother died a year ago last March 10. She would have been 99 on May 8. She only wanted one thing in her last years to make it to age 100. As she got closer and closer to her death her goal shifted to having me write this book. Life with Mother is my last gift to my Mother. It represents a closure to a time in my life that will never be again and my recognition that I am truly alone.
I am taking a few days off to go and see my sister who is 77 and my husband’s grandmother who is a young 90 years old. I will return late on Monday and hopefully I will be able to put my grief in perspective and begin in earnest to make this book a handbook for all those end-of-life caregivers who are committed to a holy mission of assisting those that they love make that final transition from a life on earth to one that we can only hope is better.
You see I have one more task to do for my mother; she wanted this book to be successful. To be successful it must be read.

http://lifewithmother.com

Thursday: Heroes and Legends

Today was the day Satchmo was born back in old New Orleans. The memories of steamy summer days in August with music drifting over the might Mississippi is more pleasant in retrospect than in reality.


Can you spell HOT! There is nothing to compare to the heat of the Big Easy. I think every one takes it easy because who has the energy to move.


I must admit that this summer in Virginia has often felt like New Orleans without the smell and the music. I think I am going to go hide in the air conditioning and come back out this evening. In the meantime, I am turning on some jazz and having a cold one.

Wednesday: Weep No More for Me

Things that I felt absolutely sure of but a few years ago, I do not believe now. This thought makes me see more clearly how foolish it would be to expect all men to agree with me.

Jim Rohn

It is amazing to me how I can totally change my mind. Sometimes minute to minute, but definitely year to year. As I grow older and learn more, all that I think seems to mutate.

Glenna says you got to change your mind at least once a day or you can get a really dirty mind.

Well I think I must have the cleanest mind on the planet. Just as soon as I start to believe something is an absolute truth, some idea, incident or event happens and changes the way I believe forever.

This is a good thing. Take time to learn something new and change your mind today. Keeping a clean mind is a good thing.

Tuesday Extra Edition

I felt drawn today to write about astrology. I don’t do that too often because the truth is that other than counseling people I have moved on from instruction in the art and science of astrology.




There is a lot of chatter now about the apparent retrogradation of the planet Mercury. Mercury is not really going backward. Because of the orbit of Mercury and its relationship to the earth, it will at times appear to stand still and then be moving backwards than it appears to stand still again and move forward. However, there does seem to be some impact of this action on our planet and on us as individuals.




Every planet has been designated rulership over certain areas of the horoscope. The horoscope is a map of the sky at the time we were born. It is drawn as a circle divided into twelve houses and we are in the center of the chart of the horoscope.




Depending on which house (those twelve divisions of the horoscope created based upon the time and place that we were born) Mercury retrograde creates an understanding of how the retrogradation will affect the individual. At this moment, Neptune the planet of spirituality, illusion, confusion, and magic are in opposition. An opposition is when two planets are 180 degrees from each other. This is strong aspect and creates tension and actually movement is not possible without a tension aspect.




Everyone thinks that Mercury Retrograde is a bad thing. Well there ain’t no such thing as a bad thing in astrology. There is tension and there is flow. In other words, it is all good (as we used to say in New Orleans) depending on whether you work with the energy or fight the energy.



With an apparent retrogradation there is a need to go within for answers. They will not be found outside. With Mercury and Neptune combined if we go inside and meditate we will be able to find uplifting spiritual answers that will have impact for the next three months. If we deal with the outside only we will deal with lost watches, computer issues, cars going crazy, communication mix ups and so forth. Again, how and where this impacts us has to do with the houses involved.




If you are familiar with your chart, Mercury is in Leo and Neptune is in Aquarius so you would look for the houses that these are in and be able to interpret the meaning.



If you don’t know what your chart looks like you can go to http://astro.com and get a free chart or you can arrange for a reading with an astrologer.



Another way to look at the impact is to look at a solar chart. A solar chart looks at your horoscope based upon placing the sun on the horizon and then deriving houses based upon this calculation.



The sun in an equal house system moves through a house every two hours. (12 houses x 2 hours equals 24 hours).

Sign Solar House Neptune Solar House Mercury
Aries 11th House 5th House
Taurus 10th House 4th House
Gemini 9th House 3rd House
Cancer 8th House 2nd House
Leo 7th House 1st House
Virgo 6th House 12th House
Libra 5th House 11th House
Scorpio 4th House 10th House
Sagittarius 3rd House 9th House
Capricorn 2nd House 8th House
Aquarius 1st House 7th House




Looking at the above Table if you do not know your Ascendant (rising sign) you would look at the energy of Mercury and Neptune based on a solar chart. If you know your Ascendant then read that sign to tell the approximate energies of these planets. Those who have more sophisticated knowledge just look and see where 16 degrees of Aquarius and Leo are in your chart.




Key Words

House Influence Sign Planet

1st House How others see you! Aries Mars – yang, movement
2nd House Personal Income Taurus Venus – yin, stillness
3rd House Short Trips/Siblings Gemini Mercury – yang, neutral
4th House Home/Mother Cancer Moon – yin, emotions
5th House Love Affairs, Children Leo Sun – yang, vitality
6th House Health, Jobs, Service Virgo Mercury – yin, helping
7th House Partnership, law, marriage Libra Venus – yang, cooperation
8th House Banks, Insurance, Death Scorpio Pluto – yin sex, money
9th House Higher Education, Vacation Sagittarius Jupiter – yang, expansion
10th House Land, Father, Reputation Capricorn Saturn – yin, boundaries
11th House Friends, Associations Aquarius Uranus – yang, chaos change
12th House Hidden enemies, Angels Pisces Neptune – yin, receptivity

More information: http://www.astrology-numerology.com/keywords.html
http://www.elysian.co.uk/basicastrology.htm


Here is an example from my own chart: Mercury retrograde in 8th house (banks) and Neptune in 2nd house personal income. I made a mistake in paying a bill and allowed myself to create an over drawn situation at the bank which cost me overage fees. Internal lessons learning not to sweat the small stuff once I have made a mistake and to watch the details next time so I am not harmed.




My friend Romola has Neptune by transit in 12th house and Mercury by transit in 6th house. A hidden bill from years ago was discovered by a credit agency she never heard about and it dealt with a hospital bill (6th house). An angel (Neptune 12th) was watching over her because this revealed someone had attempted identity theft and this apparent issue gave her information that enabled her to protect her credit.




You can take the key words from the signs, houses, and planets and create your interpretation and learn how Mercury and Neptune or any planet is affecting you.




Hope you found this helpful even though just a beginning look at a very complicated subject.

http://manifestreality.com/astro/myriam.html

Tuesday Memories

I woke up to the smell Aunt Gracie’s biscuits baking in the oven. I could hardly wait to get out of bed and rush into the kitchen to pile on the butter and home made blackberry jam. I was in heaven on this little scratch farm in the back hills of West Virginia.

Grandpa was already out in his old rocker under the apple tree sitting, whittling on a stick and making nothing in particular. His 80 some years of working this farm left him little energy to do more.

The sun had not yet taken the cool off this August morning and there was a freshness in the air and in the fresh-churned butter that I can’t find anymore even though I have moved to my own little piece of land. Except, there are wild blackberries growing at the back of our land where the deer like to come and nibble on fresh sprouts on the new fruit trees and with a few ripe, rich bites I remember Aunt Gracie’s biscuits and jam.

Until Mother died last year, she lived with us. My husband Mark was always doing things to make her feel the comfort that she felt growing up as a child of the country. He even raised chickens. He would pick one of those chickens up and hold it up by its legs where it would go into a state of hypnosis and just hang there like a stuffed toy and bring it into mother’s hospital bed and she would smile. Then the stories would begin about growing up on that farm with Grandpa and Grandma on Flat Top Mountain in West Virginia.

Yesterday Mark was cleaning out the barn on a very hot and sweaty August afternoon. He came in and told me he had found an old nest with eggs still in it from when we had chickens here for Mom’s fresh eggs and memories of days gone by. We shared a smile and went on with life without Mother and other family gone.

Monday Memories

The true harvest of my life is intangible - a little star dust caught, a portion of the rainbow I have clutched

Henry David Thoreau

It is our memories that are our memorial. Today, I was writing about the summer harvest and how our ancestors made corn dollies to celebrate the harvest and then would burn them in a fire to signal the end of the green era and preparation for the coming of fall and then the promise of spring.

As I wrote a flood of memories came to me about my life and the events that have unfolded over time. I remembered Mother.

Mother told me that when she was a very small girl, she had one store-bought doll with a china head. It was her prize possession. Some brothers were rough housing and one either accidentally or on purpose smashed her doll. The only dollies she had from then on were corn dollies that her father would make for her.

Mother always remembered that china doll with sadness. I guess that is why every Christmas when she got older we would always buy her toys. There were tons of stuffed toys from bears to bunnies to chickens. Glenna started to buy Mother dolls and her collection grew. Each little china face would make Mother smile. The smile always had the tinge of a sad memory.

Now for me when I see or hear the word corn dolly, I remember Mother and her only china doll that was priceless to a little girl in the backwoods of Flat Top, West Virginia.

To learn the rest of the story read Life with Mother; a Journey of Love, Death and Rebirth at http://lifewithmother.com Available soft bound or in ebook format.