And the bird can set you free

It was one of those times when I was in a state of total desolation. I felt lost, betrayed, confused and hurt. I felt that God had cursed me and turned his back upon me. I would find myself sobbing uncontrollably and not even knowing why I was so sad. I had a roof over my head. I had food. I had clothes. I did not have contentment much less happiness.

In many ways I find myself feeling that way right now. I feel overwhelmed by a great sense of sadness and even, almost, just for a moment, devoid of hope.

But then I remembered the lark.

Back at that other time of desolation, I finally threw up my hands and I said: God, if you exist give me a sign.

At that moment, on a very dark and dreary evening, I could see through the windows on the back porch door a bird hovering around the light. I called to Mark and he opened the door and held out his finger and the small creature jumped on. We made a makeshift box and created some food for it. The next day he went and bought a little cage.

I called a friend of mine who had a book on signs. I asked her to look up what this bird might mean. A bird represents God descending to mankind.

All day I thought about this bird and watched him in his little cage. That night was again dreary and so was I. I again said God if this is true please send me another sign.

Out side the window of the door appeared another finch. Mark again held out his finger and the bird jumped on and quickly joined his mate in the cage.

For the next few weeks every where I went I would see telephone lines filled with birds. More than I had ever seen in my life. I would walk out and get in my car and birds would follow me. I can tell you by this time my car was starting to look like it was painted with white polka dots.

I watched the caged birds and on another dreary day, I went and opened the back door and opened the cage door and let them fly free. Suddenly they were met by what seemed like hundreds of birds. As they soared free up toward the heavens the clouds parted and a rainbow appeared.

Yesterday, in another state of desolation that is effecting me still in this morning’s write, I heard the sound of a hawk. I called another friend who is a shaman and explained that for the last few days I had just been seeing dozens and dozens of crows and they just kept talking and talking as if they were talking to me. And also, there had been squirrels trying to get my attention. She explained to me that the crows were messengers and that the squirrel was a sign of gathering and the two combined was a message of success and abundance coming as I shared my words. Then I told her of the hawk. She, as my friend in past had done, had to look this up. The hawk is the sign of great spirit bringing us blessings.

Do not fear the dark, it is there where the light can shine most brightly. This morning this group gave me a candle in a time of darkness.