Monday: Victors Write History
Women with "pasts" interest men because men hope that history will repeat itself.
Mae West
It has been suggested that the victors write history. I have been amused today as I think about how many facts that we read are true and how many are recreated by those who choose to remember the past as it fits their reality.
As I explored the story of Betty Boop and Mae West this morning I am sure that the facts are often skewed except in the eyes of scholars and factoid fascinators. One will never really know the energy of the times unless one has been there. It is the same in each person's life facts, history and memory are seldom related but in the most subtle ways.
You can have six people witness an event and you will have six different stories as how the event unfolded. Even if you have a camera taking a picture which seems the absolute fact verifier, the energies surrounding the event will not usually be easily perceived. A photo like an event will be perceived by the past and expectations of the viewer. What one sees as threat another will see as invitation. What another sees as fun another will look and say ho hum. Memories are stored in sound bites and reconstructed facts.
There is also the effect of co-witnesses remembering an event. If a person is told what another person perceived in a crime, the person being interviewed will bring collaborating information to support the reported perceptions. That is what we often do as a society and as a family unit. The shared stories of others as to how they perceive an event changes our collective memories. If someone speaks out and says: Oh no, it didn't happen that way but this way. There is a state of cognitive dissonance created and the collective perception changes. This example is clear in our family histories. Aunt Glory who is the keeper of the family stories spins a tale of a certain incident along with heroes, conflict, and facts. Along comes Johnny Virgo and states: No, Aunt Glory, Dad was in jail that night after a long drunk so there is no way that was a happy Christmas. As long as everyone agrees to share the memories in a certain way all is safe in memory land. When someone recalls it differently he or she either changes the other's perception or is dismissed as uninformed or not remembering it correctly.
In therapy, a person is often taught how to recall his or her own history based upon individual recall that is not consistent with the family's story. This leads to conflict and changes in perceptions about self and can often lead to healing. It might also lead to being kicked out of the family circle of trust in keeping the family stories of the perfect past in tact.
It takes courage to challenge collective histories for a person, a group or a country. It can also change one from a victim to a victor with the freedom to rewrite history in a healthier manner.
posted by Myriam Maytorena | 9:09 AM
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