Myriam's Muse
Every morning I create a newsletter called Myriam's Muse. This blog is the rest of the story. If you would like to receive my muse send a blank email to myriamsmuse-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
About Me
- Name: Myriam Maytorena
- Location: Blue Ridge Mountains, United States
Myriam is spiritual counselor and coach with more than 35 years of experience. She accepts a limited number of clients that are looking to develop life skills that will improve the process of self-enrichment.
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Saturday, July 30, 2005
Along came Saturday when I wasn't looking!
This is has been a week of ups and downs culminating with a Friday where I finally from the result of a stressful week, I just had to detach me from reality. That is an amazing coping mechanism. If life is getting to difficult, go away to a quiet place in your head for a while. You can meet the most amazing person... You.
When I take time to get re-acquainted with me I always come away refreshed. It seems that we do so much taking care of others that we forget to take care of ourselves. Of course, you would think as wise as I think that I am I would realize when my stress-ometer is reaching the red zone. But, perhaps like you, I will all of a sudden realize that I have a headache that is from hell or my nerves are so frazzled that you can smile and say hello and I will jump down your throat. And I will say: Where the hell did that come from?
So Saturday has popped up over night and reminded me that I need to do something for me. I hope it reminds you to do the same thing.
Friday, July 29, 2005
Fridays can be Freaky
I am cursed! I did it to myself! My morning muse this morning focused on quotes from Dr. Seuss and now I am talking in my head with a base case of horrible rhyme.
As I did my research this morning I discovered that Dr. Seuss wrote Green Eggs and Ham on a dare that he could write a complete book only using 50 words. That is my kind of man. Up to a challenge that makes no sense he turned it into one of his top best sellers.
I think all writers are challenged to amuse themselves in one way or another. That is really the question are we up to the challenge or are we just waddling through our minds trying to find what will bring us some sort of sense of reality that doesn't quite seem to fit what is in our heads and what is out there. Whether we write fiction or non-fiction, it is still the same. We try to get the monsters out of our heads and on paper. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. Still it is ultimately the agony that is truly fun. Writers are adults that never have really grown up and half the time we were never allowed to be children so we go forever forward trying to capture that thrill that brings us into a new awareness of what life is all about even if it is only in fantasy.
I am absolutely certain that there is not a person on the planet with an ego that is as big as the least successful writer. A writer thinks that people care about what one says. Sometimes we are right and sometimes we are wrong. We give away our thoughts for just a song. We face obstacles of rejection and come back again knowing a well-crafted word or two can bring fame or fortune for a moment or two. Then when we hold our book in our hands, we are the only one and can look at it and say that is what I meant, I have to do this again.
Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.
Dr. Seuss please get out of my head
Or I am going to hide under my bed.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Thursday: Thoughts of Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow
As I think about how I have lived my life, I am content. I have seen the good like when I was a little girl and discovered hamburgers from White Castle ... something that definitely keeps repeating whenever I can find one. I have seen the bad like when my father died and my mother worked for fifteen dollars a week to take care of me ... something that repeated in a different way when I took care of her at the end of her life and that became a good thing for both of us.
It seems that many people come into our lives but in some ways the same people come through our lives only in different bodies. Relationships seem to take on themes that are created either by ourselves or a higher power to help us learn and grow. And I guess it may be correct that the people we are attracted or repelled by are mirrors of our own inner dynamics and drive to express life. Have you ever noticed that you will be attracted to a person only later to be repulsed by them? Sometimes intense love can turn to intense hate. Sometimes liking can just turn to irritation. Sometimes fun can turn into boredom. I have often wondered about this question of why people come into our lives and then leave. Just as much I have wondered about the question of why other people come into our lives and walk our path with us for many years and then when they leave we are saddened by the loss.
As I grow older, I am amazed by whom I remember from my past. I am also confounded by those whom I can't remember a name or even place a face but still remember their energy. This applies to many things in life that impact our senses. For example, I remember the taste of the icing on my first birthday cake but I couldn't tell you what it looked like or who was at my party. Yet, I don't remember my first lover. However, I do remember that my first love and my continuing passion through life has been words and writing and reading and thinking. I remember when I was young and foolish (instead of being old and foolish) saying I could tolerate being in solitary confinement if I were given a pen and paper. I think that is probably true today except now I would insist on a computer and internet access.
Learning to blog is like learning to write in a new language that seems boundless in ways that a pen and paper cannot touch. So I will try to remember what my muse wrote a few weeks ago so that I am not doomed to repeat it again tomorrow.
Until tomorrow, may your today be as interesting as your yesterday.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Wednesday: Walk in the Light!
It was the winter of 1997. Mark and I were on vacation at Isla de Las Mujeres, Mexico. I remember the trip as one of the most enlightening of my life. I have spoken earlier this week about a vision in that trip where I saw the Virgin Mother while at a fishing village in the Yucatan.[http://myriamsmuse.blogspot.com/2005/07/saturday-venus-and-sea.html]
We had come to Mexico for a vacation and to restore our spirits. I was also in search of a shaman to help me with some healing. I awaken early. I wandered through the narrow streets of Isla and came upon a coffee house in the open air where one could eat fresh baked bread and dark brewed coffee and smell the ocean salt. The owner, a tall blonde woman with a reddish complexion while German exemplified the hospitality of Mexico. Our conversation finally came to spirituality. She rushed and brought a poster to show to me and said: This is what I believe. It was a quote from Marianne Williamson's book, A Return to Love. The words which are quoted above still ring in my heart. Later that evening Mark and I sipped margaritas made with fresh lime at local thatched covered bar and, as usual, we struck up a conversation with the bartender. It turned out he was from the area to which we were traveling the next day. I told him of my quest to find a shaman and he told me of a man who was between Progresso and Merida but he could not remember his name.
When we arrived at our destination of the small fishing village where Tia Lucilla lived, we were amazed to discover that she had been healed by this same shaman that I was seeking. We made an appointment for Mark and I both to receive treatments. Imagine our surprise when we arrived and found that our shaman was a naturapath from San Francisco who had moved to Mexico to work in a poor village and share his herbal and chiropratic knowledge along with other modalities for more perfect health. Mark and I began a five day regimen of detoxing and cleansing and spent many hours walking on the beach and communing with the goddess of the sea. Tia Lucilla and I had long conversations in Spanglish discussing Depak Chopra and the New Age medical paradigm that was shifting our consciousness about optimum health and quantum physics.
My discovery was this: You can travel the world in search of healing. Or, you can just look a bit closer. Everything that we need exists in our hearts, bodies, minds and souls if we will be stop, look and listen. However, I will never forget the miracles of our journey to healing along the Gulf of Mexico.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Tuesday: Weather or Not!
It is HOT! No other words can describe the weather right now. However, as a creative I adjust. Instead of getting up at 7 in the morning I am getting up at 2 am. It is so comfortable now after a miserable day and discomfort that takes the juice out of one.
It is days like this that I miss the French Quarter. You could always find someone at some bar around the corner on a hot night to drink and talk and let the time slip into the morning.
I find that the heat here in the Blue Ridge Mountains is not any worse then the weather in sultry New Orleans and when one lives further south one is more used to being sweaty and miserable and ignoring it. Well, ladies in the south don't sweat, we glisten.
Well I haven't felt very lady like in this hot weather. I worry about those who are ill and old dealing with the weather in the States. It is so intense that many think that the world climate changes are causing it... but after some research it seems to be that we are just in a repeat of a cycle. I guess the more things change the more they stay the same.
So until tomorrow, have a cool one and stay cool at least in temperament.
Monday, July 25, 2005
Monday: Victors Write History
Women with "pasts" interest men because men hope that history will repeat itself.
Mae West
Sunday, July 24, 2005
Sunday is a Play Day
I had a horrible revelation. I am an addict. Now I always knew I have an addictive personality. I was talking with my sister Glenna and said: I did not work Saturday evening. There is something wrong with me that I think I have to work 24/7 so I have declared this a play day...
Well, it will be when I get my work done. There I go! It seems that I have this compulsion to just work. I think it is because for the most part it is fun. It took a long time for me to get to the place where I mostly do what I want to do but fortunately for me what I like to do is write. Sometimes when I write, it is work. Sometimes when I write, it is pure labor. But always when I write it is play. To bad I don't write plays and then I could have a double pay for my play. However, everything I seem to do seems to be word play.
A domestic diva I am not. You can find a path through my house and sometimes the dishes make it into the dishwasher. The laundry is for those to do who run out of clothes. Food and cooking is often play. The only time I can be seduced away from my addiction to work is by another stronger addiction and that is to go out to dinner and have a drink and visit with my best friend and husband Mark. Unfortunately I have to do the game of pay for play in order to do that.
I sit here at my computer and I think: What would I be doing if I didn't do this? What else could give me as much pleasure? I think when I have worked at "real jobs" in the past it was only to allow me the resources so I could come and play.
I have often said: Play is child's work and work is adult's play.
If I could give you any gift today it would be that the work you do becomes your play.
Saturday, July 23, 2005
Saturday: Venus and the Sea
Mother and lover of men, the sea.
In the 80s Mark and I were staying at a small fishing village in the Yucatan as I sat and looked out at the sea I saw a vision of a woman in blue rising from the sea and walking toward me. It was a fusion of the Virgin Mary and the Goddess Venus. Later that evening we were standing on the sandy road in front of our house and at the end of the road where it meets the sea we saw a huge golden orb in the sky. Our friend mentioned that in his years of fishing these waters and living here he had never seen such a thing. That evening as we listened to radio from Miami, it was reported that at the same time we experienced the phenomenon, 50,000 people had seen the Virgin Mary surrounded by a golden orb above the waters.
Magic has seemed to always follow me. I seem to have an affinity with those things that many do not hear or see. That is perhaps what makes me an artist or creative.
Today, I feel stressed from incidents yesterday so I am going to find water and relax. Packing a picnic that includes some bread, some cheese, a bottle of wine and a fine companion and wander up into the mountains to a stream to decompress.
Maybe some water sprites will find me and dance a little jig to the tune of tinkling water drops. Or from under a mushroom will pop an elf to amuse me as I idle the day away.
May you find peace and magic today. Let your muse wander through the mysteries of being in touch with our great mother earth.
Friday, July 22, 2005
Friday: Freedom to Party
I am beginning to see the light. The emergence of optimism is a wonderful warm and delightful experience. As the clouds of life begin to pull away, the mist on the mountain lets the rays of the sun slowly slither into life until we stand fully joyful in front of a new morning.
It seems that this past night of soul darkened by tragedy was long and murky. I would do each day just because that is all there was to do. I would sometimes be in a state of somnambulism, walking and functioning but not with the life that I express my soul through.
I am not sure when the sun begin to rise again over my reality but I have had signs along the way. I would find myself being angry. Then I would smile at a joke. Music made me want to dance. And then there without me even being aware was the light of day. I was actually funny again. My muse became a clown painted with all the colors of the rainbow. My art and my words came alive.
Like Leo the Lion-hearted, I feel a surge of pride that I have fought the good fight of grief and found healing of my heart and soul. I think that many of us never take time to celebrate our victories over adversity. Mostly we just say "Thank you God/dess, I made it through the night." One does not overcome adversity without being a hero. A hero is one who in spite of fear or maybe because of fear persists and wins back the day. Today, I celebrate winning back the day.
And like a fat yellow cat, I luxuriate in the sun. I choose to play with dreams and watch the clouds in my mind float through a blue summer sky painting a kaleidoscope of happy words. I am simply doing the Happy Dance.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Thursday: Howling at the Moon
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Wednesday: Monkey Monkess is Back!
I think that writing keeps us sane. Or at the very least, it allows us to express the monkey madness in our minds in a positive manner.
Words came easy to me. I loved the way they would dance around in different permutations expressing ideas in new ways. The sound of words as I write often energize me and make me feel vital. There is also the opposite effect when to many words seem to just float me off to sea on wave of melancholy.
There are those who write like craftsmen. Taking each sentence apart and putting it back together. Looking for the perfect word to express an inner dynamic. I am not like that. I am a slash and burn writer. My words pour forth from me as from another source that is not me but yet is me. Editing is for editors. Writing is for writers. Anything else as Truman Capote says is just typing. Or to put it more clearly those who can write, write. Those who cannot become editors.
Of course there is the issue of who is a good writer and who is a bad writer. A good writer is one who behaviors herself and acts in a kind and respectful way to others. A bad writer is one who thinks that her words are above reproach and that her ideas are etched in tablets of stone handed down from a divine source. What a bunch of monkey do. You know monkey see - monkey do do.
When a writer is good, she is very good. When a writer is bad, she is even better.
I have given up being a good writer. I have given up being a great writer. I have adopted the Monkey Monkess theory on writing. If it makes me feel good great. If it makes someone else feel good, that is a few extra bananas on my cheerios in the morning.
So until tomorrow, I will monkey around with my muse some more.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Tuesday: The Zen of Sin
Robert Heinlein
This is a call for submissions to compete for the Epiphany Award presented by Lightsource and ManifestReality.com
The rules are simple: Write a 500-700 word essay about the person or situation that empowered you with awareness - an epiphany - of your expanding spiritual possibilities. Deadline for submissions for the first award is September 1, 2005. These essays will be juried by a panel of professional, published writers. The winners will be featured in Light Source and on ManifestReality.com . Writers and staff of LightSource or ManifestReality are not eligible to enter. More about this in our July 21st edition of Light Source.
Monday, July 18, 2005
Monday Morning Mojo
As a writer, I find that the only way I can pacify my muse is to write everyday. I have learned to lower my expectations of what I will produce and I just do it. There is something strange that happens when one lowers expectations, quality goes up.
There was a study done on creativity that was really impressive. A pottery class was divided into two groups. One group was told that to pass they had to make as many pots as possible. The other group was told that they would be judged on the quality of their pots. At the end of the experiment the group whose only condition to succeed was make a lot of pots made a whopping amount of pots. However, in the push to produce amounts the quality of their pots far surpassed the quality of the group who were supposedly judged by quality.
As a writer one can get stuck in the creative process by placing to many demands on having the right word or the right sentence structure and so forth. However, as we constantly push ourselves to write and perhaps not be perfect our skills as writers improve.
I think it was Truman Capote who was asked how did he become a successful writer and he replied I get up and I write four hours every day. Even Truman had times when he probably produced some crap, but ultimately he produced a body of work that brought him fame and fortune.
Sunday, July 17, 2005
Sunday -- Sexy is as Sexy does
Sexy has many meanings during our life. Ultimately it is passion. Whether passion for a person or passion for a work or another pleasure.
Whether one is talking about a love affair with a person or a love affair with one's art, passion can become less. For authors, it can become writers block. For lovers, it can become sex put on the back burner. Anything and anywhere where we create there can be moments and hours and even years where we feel ourselves lost in a flat time. The passion stops. We are no longer sexy.
How do we get our juices flowing again? Well, ask anyone who has fallen out of love and you will understand the dynamics of this issue. We need something or some event that gets us going again. We need to build up pressure that needs to be released. Sexy passion whether as an artist or in an affair needs to be primed at times.
There is something funny that happens when we don't feel sexy, we feel like we are less. We feel that others don't find us attractive. We feel that we are failures. Are we any of these things, probably not. We are just bored.
We need to walk away. We need to get away from all that depressing of the passion. We need to allow ourselves to back off and find a way to journey back to the world of being energized.
Just like with relationships, the creative person involved with art can find times when it just isn't happening. That is when we say no, I am not defined by my work or my relationships. It is the same because art is a marriage between the creator and her muse. When it isn't working we need to move on to other things and other adventures.
Maybe we need to have an affair with another art form. There is something that can help us open up and that is becoming involved in something else that gets our juices flowing. It might be taking a dance class. It might be taking a Tai Chi class. When our primary love isn't happening to satisfy us we need to seek another lover and perhaps we will return to our first love or maybe we will discover another muse that will allow us to express our creative spirit.
We cannot make the passion happen. We can create an environment where it might wake up and become engorged with life. Whether art or relationships, being sexy requires the willingness to explore and to take risks.
Until tomorrow... Imagine the possibilities
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Saturday: Dare to Believe
Do you believe?
The greatest sadness is those people who have lost the ability to believe in the impossible. Or rather those who believe that nothing is possible. I sometimes have moments when I lose faith but it is usually faith in me not faith in others.
It seems to come to me when I am tired. My belief in me is directly connected to having energy and feeling that I can act upon the world. I think that depression is really just a lack of energy which leads to self-doubt. When we feel that we can't carry on, it may be that we are too tired by the activities that life has thrust upon us so that we can't carry that burden anymore.
So today I choose to rest. I will let my compulsion go another way. There is nothing that I have to do except choose to sleep or not.
Maybe I will dream of faeries and magical beings lifting me on clouds above the rainbow. That would be a good thing.
Today choose to believe in magic.
Friday, July 15, 2005
Friday: Memories of Past Present and Future
I have a little saying: If I don't remember it, it didn't happen. I think that memory is the guardian of our happiness. Many of the miseries that we experience has to do with holding on to the past that cannot be changed and building up such a drama that we are truly traumatized and held back from moving with happy expectation into the future. We all reconstruct the past through the way that we focus on our memories. I prefer a happy past. That does not mean negative things happened; it means that I refuse to allow hurts of the past continue to hurt me now.
There is nothing more destructive to the body than anger. It raises blood pressure. It creates wars. And, when not faced and released, it creates resentment. Resentment is the demon of memories. The word resent literally means to re-feel something. When we allow past hurts to crowd into our day, we in effect, allow the pain that someone inflicted on us to hurt us again. I, for one, refuse to allow another's actions in the past to hurt me today.
I do not apply this principle to 20 or 30 years ago. I apply it to five minutes ago. I am not going to live in a state of chaos because someone accidentally insulted me or I perceived a word wrong. In human relationships, we always have buttons that can get pushed by our significant others and those who are less than significant. I choose to have control as to how I respond to button pushing. It might be impossible to uninstall all the buttons we have wandering around our mind, but we do have choices in how we respond.
I have developed some techniques to deal with diffusing my response to negativity that might help you:
1. Develop and maintain a sense of humor.
2. Refuse to be the cause of the problem. I say in my head or out loud: That is your problem!
3. Look at the issue and say: In one hundred years will it make a difference? Or, even next week will it make a difference.
4. I get by with a little help from my friends. If I am having trouble releasing something I talk with my friends. I may not even talk about what is bugging me. I may choose instead to use the Art of Avoidance and talk about something else that makes me happy.
5. If all else fails, I just say Bleep Off!
6. I delay engaging in the situation and come back to it later when I am not emotionally involved. Delayed reaction to a stimuli reduces it's impact and allows us to be more rationale.
7. I do something that makes me happy.
8. I turn on some really upbeat and happy music.
9. I journal my way through the incident to arrive at closure.
Today bring your memories into the happiness zone. Create some joyful things to recall in those days when you think back about your life. It is never to late to create a happy history.
http://manifestreality.com/avoidance.html
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Thursday: Walk-ins!
I find that aging is not as graceful or fun as I thought it was going to be. Oh sure, I had my trauma at 39 like most people do but that was vanity. I had my reality check at fifty but that was just menopause. I am now sixty-one and a half and I can assure you this is not what I was expecting. It is totally impossible that I am old when inside I still feel young. I have those morning aches but that is the weather. My pants are getting a little tighter but that is because I put everything in the dryer. And the scale, well I can't see down that far to read it so it doesn't exist. It is at times like this that I totally approve of cosmetic surgery. It is funny that this should bother me to much as I don't look in the mirror that much except to put on make-up and I am having more and more days where I don't even bother to do that.
When I turned sixty, I said I was going to be sixty and sexy. I bought myself a red hat and a porsche to match. As I approach sixty-two I am thinking I am getting blue. I have to get a grip on all this and put it all in perspective. After taking care of mother in her end of life, I know that I am not one of the old, old women. However, I know that I am not a young, young woman either. I thought the mid-life crisis was supposed to be at 40, why am I delayed in this response?
In 1790, half of Americans were under age 16. It did not double till roughly 1990 when the median age reached 33. By 2050, it will be over 40 to even 50. In 1850, a newborn white baby girl could expect to live to age 40- a boy to age 38. Today a girl can expect to live to 79- a boy to age 73. The fastest growing age segment is 80+ where over half are women. [http://www.efmoody.com/longterm/lifespan.html] I have read that today the new sixty is the old fifty. I may be a new sixty but I sure feel like an old fifty.
Each experience and person that I know helps me to process through a stage in life. I remember Mark's grandmother, Anna, telling me at age 80 something: "I was really surprised when I had my 80th birthday. I never expected to live this long." Anna is now an empowering 90 year old that has zest and humor. I have to admit until taking care of my mother, I was in denial about my mortality and my aging. It is getting harder and harder to live in denial as time is constantly carrying me into the future that now has a clearer view of the ending than ever before in my life. I think in my mind up until my sixtieth birthday, I thought that I was going to live forever.
Well since I can't do anything to turn back the hands of time, I guess I am going to have to develop an attitude. My companion through out my life has been a sense of humor. It is time to bring that companion forward with me as I look at the rest of my journey.
Life is short so make fun of it. Or, I am never going to get out of this world alive.
Maybe I will cope by being metaphysical. Reincarnation anyone?
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Wednesday: The Problem is not in the Stars!
I truly believe that problems are presented to us in the school of life to help us learn to be more complex and interesting people. There is nothing more boring than a person who has had an easy life because they have not been forced to think and learn to depend upon their own abilities and resources. Those born into a life of ease are often born into a life of impoverished spirit. The comedy of life becomes apparent when you realize that god/dess is a joker with an audience that refuses to laugh.
Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful worldas it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things rightif I surrender to His Will;That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next.
Reinhold Niebuhr
- Know what you can fix and what you can't.
- Develop skills that enable you to tell the difference.
- Develop a sense of humor about the dichotomies of life.
- Ask for help when you don't know the answer!
Marie uses a process called "framing your day". Before she begins her engagement in her world she takes a few minutes to meditate and create what will manifest in her day.
This not only increases the positivity of manifestation but it also helps keep Marie in a state of always expanding possibilities. If you would like to know more about Marie go to http://mdmpromotions.com
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Tuesdays K.I.S.S.
I find that what makes me happy is to keep my life simple. I sometimes say that I am a minimalist but that isn't exactly true. I really like rich and complex things like thoughts, some art, an excellently prepared meal. However, if I reduce my addiction to things and stuff I find that I am in zone of greater contentment. Moments in the morning with you where I share some of my simple stuff that I like makes me happy.
I work for a psychic service on the internet. My job is to help people find sense out of what seems impossible. Life becomes complex for many people as they deal with just day-to-day living. I find that people in pain are in pain because they let situations that they cannot control take foot hold in their minds and keep pounding them over and over again with questions that need answering but may take time to come to resolution. All of us face these moments and I have found what makes them easier to cope with is to make day-to-day living as simple as possible. When we have to many scheduled tasks in a day and no time for simple pleasures life gets out of control when any crisis - no matter how large or how small - upsets routine.
I find that the most important question that people ask always has an underlying theme: Will things get better? In other words, when walking through the dark night of the soul a person needs to have hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. When I work with people it is my job to simply focus on them and their needs. It is amazing what that does for my stress level. It actually reduces it. When I take the focus off of me and place it on another with love and compassion light begins to fill his or her life and to fill mine. My simple pleasure in my work is to be able to take someone's hand and lead them out of the darkness and closer to the light of understanding that life will and does eventually change and get better.
I find that if we focus on the small things in life the big things seem to be taken care of by some higher power. I don't know if that higher power is god/dess or just the natural rhythms of life. We all eventually heal our wounds. We all eventually find answers to questions that plague us. We all eventually experience a moment when we can look at a flower and feel the pleasure of beauty.
I have found that all of our experiences in life have a purpose. We may not always perceive the purpose of an event at the time that it happens but later on an event occurs and we look back at how we learned a new skill or lived through a crisis and we have an inner encylopedia of life that will provide answers to carry us forward on our path in life.
There have been many events in my life that I did not understand at the moment but lately many of those sometimes painful moments have been helping me in my work to help others. As I hear another's painful story, I can remember when I had a similar painful story and I am able to share empathetically his or her process in learning to not only survive but to grow from the events that are surrounding them and causing pain or discomfort. I have also found that if I am to help a person he or she will find me. I can sit in my simple office with the birds singing outside my window and know that the phone will ring and I will be prepared to share the healing that is needed in the moment.
The other person's pain does not make me happy. What makes me happy is that I have been taught experientially and academically to have skills that will enable them to reduce their pain enough to go forward and discover new alternatives in the way that they perceive life. I can't always tell them what they want to hear, but I can give them hope that life will get better. I can let them know that they are significant and that someone cares for them. I can love them and that is really what gives me a sense of contentment with my life and my work.
If you would like to check out my virtual office come on over to http://asknow.com They call me Mother Myriam over there and the message I share is those lessons I learned from my mother and from my life.
Oh, I had a great email yesterday. A woman wrote to say she had bought three copies of my book Life with Mother and wanted me to autograph one of them. She had bought the extra copies to give to friends who were dealing with their own personal journey of love, death and rebirth. It gives me joy to know that the words I write will help others deal with the end-of-life of a beloved. If you would like to get a copy for a friend or for you go to http://lifewithmother.com
Monday, July 11, 2005
Monday: Compassion and Kindness
The art of compassion does not always come easy for those who have suffered along the way. There is within each one of us the ability to find that seed of divine love that manifests as compassion and kindness in our dealings with all that pass through our lives. The first manifestation of incarnate divinity is to approach life and all creatures with compassion.
We are charged to be caregivers and nurturers of those who are suffering. This is ultimately the mission of the evolutionary spirit that is re-awakening on our planet. To have compassion is one thing, but we must also act compassionately. Everyday each one of us has an opportunity to express love and understanding to another on this planet. You never know when your acts of loving kindness will totally change another person's life in ways that you really cannot comprehend.
One does not have to be Mother Theresa or the Dali Lama or any perceived icon of spiritual leadership to demonstrate the art of compassion. In everyday life, it is the moment to moment encounters with others that heal hearts and repair a wounded planet. We may at first in our busy schedules train ourselves to be aware of moments of divine chance that enter our lives. As we learn to attend to others and to witness their journey we learn to connect heart to heart. And once our collective hearts are in a state of awareness than healing will vibrate through out the planet. One act of kindness can undo three acts of anger, fear or hate.
We all want to live in a kinder and gentler world. We can create that ripple by creating our own inner world to be kind and gentle. When we begin to show compassion and kindness to self, we are then more able to reach out to others with this energy of divine love. The only difference between the mission of the great avatars and ourselves is nothing more than recognition by a mass of individuals. As we add our energies to the divine energies of these icons we will help our planet reach a state of critical mass so that we will truly have transformed our world into a place where more and more individuals respond to the collective charge to do all with kindness and compassion.
To learn more about the compassion of love go to http://lifewithmother.com Life with Mother; A Journey of Love, Death and Rebirth.
Saturday, July 09, 2005
Saturday Success and Luck
My good friend Janet Elaine Smith (http://janetelainesmith.com ) and I were talking on the phone last night sharing events of the week. Our discussion led to the topic of how some writers never seem to be able to get their books sold while others appear to just be as lucky as hell.
Well, we concluded that luck doesn't have a thing to do with it unless you are the one making the luck. Sometimes it seems that we have been lucky but when we look more closely at the reality unless one acts upon one's world in an assertive and active manner, luck will not come to one's doorway. You can't even win the lottery if you don't buy a ticket.
The ticket to winning the lottery of success in one's work as a creative person in the arts is, of course, to first have talent. But talent doesn't mean diddly squat if you don't train your talent by constantly doing your art. A writer must write. A painter must paint. A musician must play. However, once you have created the product that is your art reality mandates that you must then become a master marketer.
The art of marketing requires some skills that many of those in the arts (and other professions) feel a lack. They wait upon that agent that will do the work for them. They wait upon that manna to drop from heaven and quench their hunger for success or fame. Waiting for luck without working for one's goals is as much a guarantee of failure as about anything else in life.
As an artist one must brand oneself. Some examples of branding of one's name is Oprah Winfrey, Martha Stewart, Doctor Phil, Picasso, Donald Trump, Janet Elaine Smith and Myriam Maytorena.
Yes you have that right - Myriam Maytorena From my first beginnings on the internet my goal was name identification. My products were the writings that I produced. Since I did that eight years ago I have received countless contracts for writing that came out of the blue. However, being a marketing mavin, I always ask how did you find me? The answer always was I did a search on the internet. What appeared as luck was actually my hard work over eight years building a reputation as a writer of metaphysical topics. As an artist your brand is your name and your name is your reputation for producing your art.
It is truly a combination of good luck and persistence plus being how to spell. This is a direct quote from my morning muse newsletter which I send out every morning. I will now tell you the next thing a successful writer needs: A Great Editor. That is why I love Janet as she is my editor and she does what any good editor does - she makes me look better.
The successful artist knows her limitations and the skills that she needs to develop. Luck has a lot to do with knowing how and where to find the people who can either make your product or service better. Luck in marketing your product means finding someone who can mentor you along the way to becoming your own marketing mavin. Janet has created Your Personal Marketing Plan where she does not do the work for you to achieve success but coaches you along the way and teaches you how to become the successful artist that you are meant to be. You will find it at http://janetelainesmith.com along with her Promo Pack which is a how-to-do it for published authors who want to depend on self rather than luck.
Until tomorrow....
Morning MuseMyriam Maytorena
http://myriamsmuse.blogspot.com/
moments in the morning with my friends
please feel free to share with your friends.
if you would like to on my morning mail list just send me an email at myriammaytorena@adelphia.net and put subscribe to muse in the subject line.
Friday, July 08, 2005
Friday Just about the time a woman thinks her work is done, she becomes a grandmother.
No man is an Island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the Continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friends or of thine own were; any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankind; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee.
-- John Donne, Meditation XVII
Every Child born enhances me, because I am involved in womankind. Ask not for whom the faerie bell tinkle they tinkle for thee.
Myriam Maytorena 2005
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Thursday Thoughts about Love Death and Rebirth
I woke up this morning depressed. I didn't know why. I just said to myself - how do I go about doing what has to be done? I was not really aware as to why I felt so bad until I got a call from my sister about the terrorist bombings in London.
It also brought back other memories. Of course, 911 comes to mind. But for me, I remembered the terrorist acts in Madrid.
Most people remember what they were doing on 911. I remember that I was sitting in the chair of the dentist getting a root canal. I also remember what I was doing when the terrorists attacked Madrid, my mother died.
Now all of these things are not apparently connected yet today I feel that all is connected. That we are all connected in energy patterns that often cannot be explained. I think about the killing that is going on all over our planet. From violence in the streets on an individual basis to mass conflicts such as war. Our drive to self-destruct has not changed. What is evolving is our sophistication in wrecking havoc on ourselves and on our planet.
Crime in the United States accounts for more death, injuries and loss of property then all Natural Disasters combined. Approximately thirteen million people (approximately 5% of the U.S. population) are victims of crime every year. Approximately one and a half million are victims of violent crime. [http://www.disastercenter.com/crime/] These statistics of individual violence are growing globally.
Now I don't know if we will ever truly become a peaceful species. I do know that when people have food and shelter and basic needs met they are less likely to become violent. Perhaps our best way to fight individual and collective terrorism is to focus on how we can help those who can't even get shelter, food, medicine or clothing. Where do we start. Well first we start at home like our dear friend Janet Elaine Smith [http://janetelainesmith.com] who spends a portion of every day helping the homeless in her town. We start by helping those who have less than we do. This can be through charitable contributions. It doesn't matter what amount that we do - one dollar of mine joined with a dollar from you becomes more and thus we grow the money needed to help others. We help insure that all children receive the educational tools that they will be able to go to college. Then we work to insure that these children will go on to college and be able to provide for themselves and their families.
I truly believe that we are as a species connected in an infinite pattern that has both chaos and beauty. If we were to take but one moment out of our day to send out the energy of love to all of those who are one with us, it will become a cumulative energy that will help us all heal. The events of today evoke a primal fear. It is this primal fear that is destroying us. While I do not agree that the opposite of fear is love. I do know that nurturing love that filled with sincerity and hope can quell fears so that we can continue to evolve and heal as a species.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Wednesday Mentor/Sage
"I am learning all the time. The tombstone will be my diploma."
--Eartha Kitt
When you stop learning and fight change, you stop living. You might as well be dead because your mind has gone into a vegetative state of status quo hibernation.
My mother-in-law is getting ready to go on sabbatical. One of her projects will be to write a book based upon her research. Like she said, "If you don't use it, you lose it"
There is no other sector of our lives where this is more important than in the process of day to day learning. Making learning a habit is one of the greatest anti-aging strategies that one can adopt.
When I was at University, my focus was on development and change over the life-span with a particular emphasis on how adults and seniors cope with change. One of the most important factors that emerged was the need for a lifelong process of learning. If learning stops when we hang up our cap and gown, our intelligence will slowly start to diminish. However, if we continue to engage in challenging learning activities, IQ is one measure that actually improves with age.
Since 1900, nearly 30 years have been added to the life expectancy of individuals born in the United States, and, in the past 35 years, the number of individuals age 65 and over has expanded from 8 to 12 percent as a proportion of the total U.S. population (Lamdin and Fugate 1997). A number of factors, such as the eradication of childhood diseases, advances in medical care, and a decline in fertility rates following the postwar baby boom, have converged to create the statistical aging of the population (Manheimer, Snodgrass, and Moskow-McKenzie 1995). Furthermore, the trend of increasing numbers of older adults as a proportion of the total population is expected to continue: by 2030 a total of 20 percent of the United States' population will be age 65 or over (Lamdin and Fugate 1997). Greater numbers of older adults have stimulated discussions about how the graying of America will affect future economic and social conditions, including education.
For many years scientists believed humans were born with a certain number of brain cells that die off as we age. But recent studies have brought forth a growing body of evidence that new brain cells will form at any age if the brain is challenged and exercised and as stated above we not only grow older we can grow smarter.
When we see and hear so much about disabilities in the elderly, it would be wise to keep in mind that statistics show the vast majority of older people are in good shape ? better than ever before in human history. Decline is not inevitable.
The amount and kind of learning in which older adults engage is a trend of interest to educators. A study (Lamdin and Fugate 1997) that examined all types of older adult learning "revealed that older people are learning in numbers and amounts of time expended at a rate far exceeding even [the researchers'] expectations" (p. 85). Respondents in this study spent an average of 27.86 hours per month in informal (nonclassroom-based or self-directed) learning, and 17.75 hours per month in formal (classrooms or other organized settings). A review of studies of participation in formal or organized adult education programs revealed that, although the "actual number and percentage of participants [of older adults] is still rather modest," it is expected to grow (Manheimer, Snodgrass, and Moskow-McKenzie, 1995, pp. 15-16). Currently, the largest percentage of individuals age 55 and over is in noncredit, continuing education.
The plethora of information available over the Internet both about and for older adults is a third trend related to older adults with implications for educators. Many older adults are defying the stereotype that computers are for the young and are actively engaged in using the Internet as both consumers and producers of information (e.g., Dixon 1997; Lawhon, Ennis, and Lawhon 1996). In addition, information about many aspects of aging can be found on the Internet (Post 1997). The use of the Internet by older adults is consistent with the kind of education in which they tend to engage--informal or noncredit--and educators need to consider how they can use it to support and/or deliver educational programming for older adults.
Psychologically many of us are programmed to think that when one retires from a profession that life is over. However, as my Father stated, "Retirement is getting four new tires and starting over again." The metaphors for aging are changing and many adults over the ages of 50, 60, 70 and beyond are taking on the challenge of maintaining a life of enrichment and learning pleasure.
While there are some biological events that occur that can create difficulties such as more difficulty with language acquisition, vision changes, short-term memory barriers, and reaction time, there are ways to compensate for these events. We can go on to offer to the world a new era of the "The Wise Man and The Wise Woman."
Following are a few tips to improve memory and cognition over the life span. There are also ways to improve brain function and complexity.
1. Breathe. Learning to breathe correctly increases the oxygen content to the brain and makes it more vital and healthy.
2. Exercise. Walking and other aerobic exercises increase oxygen content and circulation and improve cognition.
3. Mediation: Meditation decreases tension and relaxes the body and creates a greater self-awareness of the true condition and potential of the body. Plus it makes one less stressed and focused. Focus is an important part of short-term memory.
4. Herbal Supplements: There are decreases in certain mineral and vitamin potential in the aging body. The addition of sensible supplements will increase mental and physical acuity. (I for one could not function with out Ginko Biloba to help my short-term memory or without Melatonan to improve and regulate my sleep cycle.)
5. Taking Charge. Not giving up one's power and decision-making in one's life is the most important factor in the psychology of aging. Many folks will find that their kids try to change rolls with them. Well say NO. I may be 50, 60, 70 or, even, 100 but I am still the Mom or the Dad. Retain your sense of being in control in your life.
6. Be responsible for something beside yourself. A plant, animals, grandchildren -- responsibility for any other living organism outside of self promotes longevity and improves cognition.
7. Read something that you disagree with at least once a week and think through why you might be right or might be wrong in your assumptions.
8. Challenge people when they treat you with that veiled respect that is really solicitous ageism.
9. Volunteer. Be involved outside yourself in mentoring and helping others.
10. Be a friend and develop a strong core of friendships. Don't count on your family to be your only support system.
11. Celebrate reaching a time when you can be like a child in that your focus on world can return to the center of self rather than the center of society? you now have grown them babies and received that gold retirement watch and you can explore self you never had time to do before.
12. Create a new mission or concept about your life. I like this one. "Every day in every way I am better and better and better."
In a series of studies involving adults of various ages, psychologists found that people are least open to changing their views during their middle adult years. The studies by Penny S. Visser, PhD, of Princeton University, and Jon Krosnick, PhD, of Ohio State University, are featured in the December issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (Vol. 75, No. 6, p. 13891410).
The results indicate that the rising number of elderly in this country could create a large population of people who easily shift their viewpoints on various issues, the researchers speculate. That could create volatility in public opinion, especially in times of great public debate such as elections, they say.
As we move into our golden years and prepare for our diamond years and our platinum years and our whatever years think in a forward direction. Recognize the power that we as a population of wise older persons have over our own destiny and over the policies of our country.
Most important, at any age, is to have a dream. My mother is 97 years old. She has osteoporosis and is in pain. Her mind is like a razor. She has a plan to be on television on her 100th birthday, which will fall on Mother's Day. At 80 something she built a more comfortable home for her old age. She continues to plan for the future. Plans and goals make dreams reality. It is the reality of knowing that dreams can still come true that improves our potential to become the "Sage of our Society."
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
--Dr. Seuss
Myriam Maytorena is a writer, counselor, and new-age philosopher. You may visit Myriam online at http://manifestreality.com
My book about my time with Mother during her last days is now available at Books A Million and at your favorite bookseller.
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Tuesday: DUH!
As I stumbled over to my office this morning and did my morning muse I was totally convinced it was Monday. I guess those three day weekends get to all of us in some way or another. Well, at least I am blond on the inside where it counts.
Betty Friedan
As my muse tries to wake me up this morning, I keep thinking about how far society has come as far as the roles of both men and women. And every time I think about that I realize how far we have to go. The shifting sands of social perception is becoming more and more stirred up and I wonder have I missed something?
I am watching an increasingly more vocal segment of society - a minority - raise it voice against the changes happening within our world. At first I want to just laugh it off and say they are not a threat. Then I remember other times in history when a small minority became more and more vocal and changed the visage of society dramatically. The early feminists of the late 19th century is a perfect example. The abolitionists of the 18th century is another. And now we have the Falwellians opening up and being extremely vocal in wanting to take back the equal rights of women, gays, and, next, it will be children.
There is danger now of falling back into a past that is destructive if we don't take care not to fall on these slippery shifting sands.
Monday, July 04, 2005
Monday 4th of July 2005 when will freedom ring for all?
It is the fourth of July 2005 in Roanoke Virginia. It has been 418 years since Virginia Dare was born in the Roanoke Island Colony. It took 189 years for the Colonies to become free from the rulership of England. It took 333 years for women to be allowed the right to vote. The original settlers came to the Americas seeking freedom of religion and the right to self-determination. It is my heartfelt prayer that this dream may become a reality in our time.
While we have made strides in the United States to empower all individual citizens, there is still much work to be done. Religious tolerance is really a questionable right in the United States as the Far Right Fundamentalist believe that it is their way or the high way for spiritual practices in the United States. As Sandra Day O'Connor retires from the Supreme Court we are all in danger that the rights women have fought so hard for will be stripped away by the right-wing agenda of the presidency. While we are blessed by Condoleezza Rice and more and more symbolic women in power, we are still threatened by a media group think that is leading us back to slavery to laws that take away a woman's power over her body and her life.
If we are going to honor the women warriors who made it possible for us to be at the point where we are now we must speak our truth and we must walk our truth.
Households headed by women are the largest segment of the population living in poverty. Women are more likely to be poor than men. Even though the equal pay law was passed in the 1960s. The gender gap still exists but is starting to decline which gives us hope but does not assure economic freedom for women. http://www.legalmomentum.org/womeninpoverty.pdf
The first woman doctor Elizabeth Blackwell had to fight to become a doctor. The percentages of women doctors has been growing during our current generation and more than half are women.
There is no gender gap between males and females who have four or more years of college and this is the segment of our population that has the least probability of falling into poverty. This means that mothers and fathers who wishes their daughters to escape the cycle of poverty must do everything possible to make sure that higher education is the goal from the time that child is born.
If we want to eliminate poverty in America and discrimination against women the only option is higher education and the development of professional skills that will assure that women have the rights guaranteed by the constitution. It is hard to pursue happiness when you are impoverished.
Ask what your country can do for you and then you will be able to ask what you can do for your country. If the men and women who govern America on all levels do not make higher education a focus for all men and women, we will continue to have a two classes in our society -- the poor and the non-poor.
Sunday, July 03, 2005
Sunday Smiles
I was noticing something lately and that is the shortness of many email responses can sometimes be misunderstood. Learning to not take offense was difficult for me. That is why I am glad that we have smileys to make our written words a little softer.
It seems that it is not just email; it is our society in many ways. People are so stressed and so rushed with so many responsibilities in a world that is more demanding than ever that we often don't even attend to other people even for a simple exchange like ordering a sandwich at McDonald's.
Sometimes it seems that good manners are just a memory of a kinder and gentler past. I am not sure what has happened to make being rude a positive trait to teach our children. I am not talking about squelching creativity and self-expression. I am talking about the excuses that are made for not teaching children how to be kind to other people.
It is especially prevalent in many New Age families where the excuse given is that the child is an Indigo. People take pride in having an indigo being born into their family. This is a good thing if one takes this responsibility along with the pride. The primary description of an Indigo is a person who has difficulty with authority and are non-conformist. In the desire to not hurt the child, parents who perceive their children as Indigos will tolerate obnoxious behaviors. In doing so, these parents are causing almost irreparable damage to their children. Even if these children are the change makers of our society, they will not be able to achieve their goals without the proper skills to work within the system. People who do not learn how to make change from within will eventually fail. I think a lot of the potential of these creative and unique individuals are being destroyed because they are going to be stuck in a phase of their development where they are the center of the universe with little or no respect for the feelings and needs of others.
Even parents in the mainstream are making errors of not teaching their children the necessity of creating personal boundaries and demonstrating respect for others. Most parents are so stressed by the issues of day-to-day living that they are almost to tired to be parents. There is a reliance on the school system to teach behaviors that will enable one to survive and thrive as adults. Yet, the real teaching happens long before school begins. A child learns by observation of the expectations and behaviors of the family unit whether it is a single-parent family, an extended family, the disappearing traditional family and an alternative family. When parents are rude to children, children learn to be rude. When children are rude to others and not corrected and shown what is expected, children learn to be rude. When we don't listen to children, they learn not to listen to others. When we only spend money on children and not time with children, they learn that their value is through things and not through actions.
It seems so simple yet in a complicated world, the simple is becoming too difficult. Thank you becomes to difficult to say when one is rushed. Listening to another becomes difficult when worries about life keeps taking up thinking space. Kindness is difficult when one is constantly faced by rudeness in the business place.
I made an observation the other day at Lowes. When we used to go to Lowes, my husband and I would comment that people seemed to be clueless and not know anything about the store. In fact, some of them were just downright rude. What did I observe, things and people had changed. I don't know if the hiring process was changed or the training process had changed. People who worked for the store smiled when they saw us. If two employees were having a conversation with each other, they would stop and ask if they could help us. Every employee that we met was nice. It took me a couple of visits before it dawned on me that Lowes climate of customer service had changed. I looked at my husband and asked him: Did you notice the employees are acting differently. He looked at me with a look of surprise, smiled, and said yes. I felt good about going shopping there.
Life cannot be a happy experience, if the other humans we deal with are not able to be kind, considerate, and accommodating. This does not mean that we cannot be assertive but we can learn to not be mean, angry, or aggressive in a negative manner. It is in our self-interest in creating a world of expanding possibilities to begin to be kind to other people realizing that each behavior that we express is reflected back to us by others.
I think we need to take some of the smileys that we put in our emails and give them to the people we meet everyday. I am going to practice this week giving out free smileys to everyone I see who doesn't have one on his or her face. We could start a revolution with that idea. Give a smile away this week to everyone you meet.